There is absolutely no doubt that the hit Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion song, “WAP,” has taken the country by storm. In a year during which we haven’t had a lot to celebrate, we can definitely come together to celebrate that wet ass pussy. But, for me, in my journalistic opinion, it’s a masterpiece of lyrical wordsmanship. Since I also have a website that I use to cover social phenomena like this, I feel like I’m obligated to break this song down, and tell each and every one of you guys exactly why this song…as the kids say…fucks. So, I’m here to do that job and offer up my favorite lyrics from “WAP.”
WAP Lyric Power Rankings
10. “When I ride the dick, I’ma spell my name” – Does this mean something I don’t know? Because I’m so lost. It’s one of those things that, completely out of context, makes absolutely no sense, and I think that kinda shit is HILARIOUS.
9. “Pussy A1, just like his credit” – Shout out to anyone who recognizes the value of a strong credit score.
8. “Spit in my mouth, look in my eyes” – FUCK! This one hits deep. Doesn’t this just feel deep? Like some soul-exchanging kinda shit? This is just a shade above peeing on someone, and it definitely sounds like we’re pretty close to heading in that direction.
7. “Now get your boots and your coat for this wet ass pussy” – This one’s just funny, ’cause can you imagine just fucking in a raincoat and some rain boots?
6. “Bring a bucket and a mop for this wet ass pussy” – You know what? I don’t really know if I’m all that into this if there’s manual labor involved. We’re supposed to be relaxing, not doing any janitorial work. And, I’m sorry, but if it’s THAT wet, no way I’m going to ever get the bed clean. Sorry not sorry.
5. “If he ate my ass, he’s a bottom feeder” – It’s funny because it’s true. Alternative joke: “what song is this from? Wet Ass Ass?”
4. “Put this pussy right in your face, swipe your nose like a credit card” – Am I missing something? Does this do something for women? Rubbing your nose up their labia? I didn’t realize this was a thing, but it’s pretty funny to visualize.
3. “If it don’t hang, then he can’t bang” – I’m a big fan of rules, and this is as simple as it gets. It’s delivered so matter-of-factly, too. I can’t help but respect it.
2. “Your honor, I’m a freak bitch” – This just feels so absurd. Could you imagine saying this to a literal judge? In a literal court of law? What would warrant that?
1. “There’s some hoes in this house” – It’s really the backbone of the song. It sets the tone for what the song’s all about and never lets up.
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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