NFL Kickoff 2020: Chiefs-Texans Drinking Game

Get the drinking game ready and kick back for another NFL season kickoff!

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I can hardly believe it, folks. Here we are yet again – another kickoff to another NFL season. It’s been a tumultuous and odd offseason to say the least, but we can say it yet again, loud and proud, FOOTBALL IS BACK! Tonight, we have ourselves quite the rematch brewing between the Kansas City Chiefs and the Houston Texans, and two of the best….if not the two best….young quarterbacks in the league. So, we gotta do what we do best on these momentous occasions – it’s time for another SoBros staple drinking game. This time, it’s for Chiefs-Texans.

The Chiefs are currently a nine-point favorite, and if you know anything about me, you know I hate those big spreads in the NFL. They didn’t coin the phrase ‘any given Sunday’ for nothing. The over/under is set at 54.5, which seems completely unreasonable. Sure, these figure to be two high-scoring offenses, but man – there’s been no preseason, no scrimmages, nothing. I’m expecting some sloppy play to start the game, meaning points won’t be scored and that under is the much more attractive play.

The difference in this one for me is defense. I expect this one to turn into a shootout in the second half of the game once everyone’s gotten acclimated to the game. But, all it’ll take is one big defensive play to make the difference and I trust the Chiefs a whole lot more than the Texans to do that. People talk about Patrick Mahomes like crazy, and rightfully so – your first two years as a starter and you come home with a League MVP and Super Bowl title….that’s rarefied air, hombre. But, the Chiefs defense proved capable of bowing up against the Tennessee Titans in the AFC Championship game…that unit was an underrated part of the Chiefs’ Super Bowl run.

YES! We’re talkin’ FOOTBALL, BABY! Let’s get into it – pull up my Chiefs-Texans Drinking Game and let’s riiiiiiiide.

CHIEFS-TEXANS DRINKING GAME

TAKE A DRINK IF/WHEN…

You hear the term ‘covid protocol.’
You hear the term ‘unprecedented times.’
Someone comments on the ‘unusual offseason.’
These first three rules alone might have you passed out on your floor by the end of the first quarter so I’ll make a rule to keep you hydrated – two sips of water for every shot of Andy Reid with his face covered by a play sheet.
Anyone brings up the Chiefs’ 51-31 over the Texans in last year’s playoffs.
They show clips of the Chiefs winning the Super Bowl
They bring up Mahomes’ big money contract…another drink if they specifically mention him buying part of the Kansas City Royals.
They bring up Deshaun Watson‘s big money contract.
The DeAndre Hopkins trade is mentioned.
Bill O’Brien is referred to as the Texans GM.
Watson gets sacked.
One drink per 50 Mahomes passing yards.
Randall Cobb catches a pass.
Tyreek Hill takes a ball 10 yards (rush or reception).
The Chiefs come back to take the lead away from the Texans – yes, this means every time the Chiefs take the lead, you take a drink.

TAKE A SHOT IF/WHEN…

There’s a defensive or special teams touchdown.
David Johnson scores a touchdown.
Tyrann Mathieu gets an interception.
They actually hit the over (54.5).
The Chiefs actually cover the nine-point spread.

As always, stay safe out there and drink responsibly! If you drink, don’t drive. Do the watermelon crawl. FOOTBALL SEASON IS HERE!

Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley