Ever wondered why NASA never sent anyone else to the Moon? Well it is because of Apollo 18 and what occurred on their secret mission back in December of 1973. Luckily, there has been “found footage” for us to see that the two American astronauts filmed themselves. Finally, we will get to know the truth about why the mission was abandoned and why we were never supposed to find out about it.
Sounds like bullshit huh? Well that’s because it is. Now the filmmakers and The Weinstein Company want you think Apollo 18 really happened, but they must think all moviegoers are incredibly stupid. Apollo 18 wants to be the next Blair Witch Project or Paranormal Activity, but it is missing everything that made those movies fun, scary, and exciting. This horror movie has nothing new to offer and not only does it take forever for something to actually happen, but when it does, it isn’t worth the wait. There are only a couple of times that it really might make you jump, but just a little bit. Scaring you just a little bit is not really what movies like this one is supposed to do.
For “found footage” scary flicks, the most suspenseful and exciting part is when the mystery of the villain, no matter who or what it is, is revealed. Not the case for Apollo 18. Whatever it is can barely be seen and when you do get a good look, they appear to be crabs that live in craters. These critters provide no chills or thrills whatsoever. For a 90-minute space movie, it tries to buy a lot of time and what could have been a real terrifying experience becomes the exact opposite. Blair Witch and Paranormal Activity actually scared people. Apollo 18 will just bore you.
I remember seeing previews for Apollo 18 at some point last year, and it has had about two or three different release dates. It kept being pushed back and now I know why. It should have been pushed back some more. Actually let’s take that one step further and wish the “found footage” would have never been found at all.
Brandon Vick is a member of The Music City Film Critics’ Association, the resident film critic of the SoBros Network, and the star of The Vick’s Flicks Podcast. Follow him on Twitter @SirBrandonV and be sure to search #VicksFlicks for all of his latest movie reviews.
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