The SoBros Mailbag #138: Stonks, Fast Food, and Subway

It's lunch time on a Friday. The SoBros Mailbag is here.

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Let’s face it – every day we are routinely bombarded with questions. When you’re an emerging media company in Nashville, people just want to know what your opinions are on everything. It’s only natural. And, since our duty is to serve the people, well, we have no choice but to be present. That’s the SoBro Way. Also, aren’t mailbags just a barrel of laughs anyway? Welcome to the newest weekly recurring feature up in this bitch: The SoBros Mailbag. As always, hit us with those mailbag questions @SoBrosNetwork on Twitter, email ’em to me anonymously at thesobrosnetwork@gmail.com.

Question:

Answer:

I’m a big time snickerdoodle guy, but that’s a holiday treat. Can’t eat it year round – year round? I go oatmeal raisin, but I’ve also been told that I have the same taste as an 80-year old man.

Question:

Answer:

Honey, you wear your daisy dukes whenever and wherever you want to. Don’t let these hillbillies tell you what to do with your Nintendo.

Question:

Answer:

For reference, just take a look at this place:

Any place that has fried bologna on the menu has a special place in my heart. That menu looks like the EXACT type of place that the SoBros team would flock to – no free advertising, but this place (Boonedogs (so it shows up in the search engines)) looks awesome.

Question, from Instagram:

What’s happening to the stock market?

Answer:

To quote Korg from Thor: Ragnarok, “the revolution has begun!”

I’m here for it – let’s burn this shit to the ground. Everything. It’s hysterical to me that people think we live in a country where you can truly do anything you set your mind to. The average Joe starts to catch on to what’s happening in the stock market and seizes a bit of control in a moment of chaos. Then, we’re reminded of just how much power these billionaire fucks have over us.

It’s a nice illusion, and we like to comfort ourselves with it. But, it’s bullshit. It’s all bullshit. Robinhood just up and decided that we couldn’t buy AMC or GameStop anymore yesterday. It’s straight up market manipulation. It’s the wealthy playing our economy as if they’re at a casino. But, they’ve learned this week that it AIN’T FUN WHEN THE RABBIT’S GOT THE GUN!

*shakes fist*

Apologies for my outburst.

Question:

Answer:

Hot dog soup sounds absolutely disgusting, by the way. The most white trash thing I’ve ever eaten….hmmm….that’s tough. Y’know…in college, I would cook up ramen noodles and then dice chicken nuggets up and pile everything into a single bowl. Does that count?

The stupidest thing I ever ate? My dad used to joke about fixin’ me jelly bean sandwiches for dinner all the time when I was a child. One day, thinking jelly bean sandwiches were actually real, I made one, tried it, and vomited.

Question:

Answer:

Blockchain’s the way of the future, Patrick. I’m a big time crypto guy, but I couldn’t afford BTC at the time it was surging to $18,000. Instead, I opted for Ethereum – it was the clear #2 at the time, and in my opinion, is the clear #2 today. I bought in at $140, and that sumbitch is pushing $1350 last I checked. I also threw money at Dogecoin for the fuck of it a couple of years ago. $20 bought me 12,001 in 2019.

Question:

Answer:

Dave, I’m a big fast food guy. I know it’s absolutely terrible for me, but I just can’t help myself. It’s my stress vice – I get overloaded, I just want some greasy disgusting fast food.

I say this because it’s incredibly hard for me to pin down one distinct fast food burger as my favorite. I would say Wendy’s Double Stack, because it’s probably the burger I eat the most frequently. But, as far as quality goes….I’m going to throw a bit of a curveball out there. The Flamethrower from Dairy Queen is phenomenal if you like heat – pepper jack cheese and whatever the hell that Flamethrower sauce is…*chef’s kiss*.

Everyone goes to Dairy Queen for the Blizzards, but I’m tellin’ ya….they have some good fast food.

Question, from Ben on Twitter:

How much do you love me, a lot or a lot?

Answer:

Ben, your friendship is one of the best unintended consequences that has happened to me because of my foray into independent professional wrestling. You’re truly the mayor.

Question:

Answer:

Jesse, I fuck so hard with Subway. I could eat Subway every meal of every day of the week. I have two go-to orders:

  1. Pizza sub, deluxe pepperoni, provolone cheese, toasted, with spinach, tomatoes, onions, olives, banana peppers, sriracha sauce, vinegar and oil, parmesan, and oregano.
  2. Steak and cheese with pepper jack cheese, lettuce, tomatoes, olives, onions, and southwest sauce.

The lady at the Gladeville Subway has both of these sandwiches memorized if that gives you any idea of how often I eat there. Probably going to have a heart attack one day because of it, but I don’t care.

Keep the questions coming – catch y’all next week!

Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network, and a Dogs Playing Poker on velvet connoisseur. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley

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