The world is up in flames. No other way to look at it, folks. When you can’t even go into a Bath and Body Works without having to worry about catching a stray fist upside your dome, it’s a sign of the apocalypse. Pretty sure that was written in the Book of Revelations, and it might’ve been a subplot in Beowulf. Point is, it’s a written rule somewhere – the day shit starts poppin’ off at the B&BW (do NOT forget the ampersand when using that acronym), it’s a sign that the end is near.
A whole fight just happened at bath & body works I’m dying pic.twitter.com/ocumzj8G9f
— Genevieve (@gendenslow) March 6, 2021
Is it Bath and Body Works? Or is it Back and Body Hurts? Amirite or amirite?!?! Real talk – this is a sad sight to see, folks. I love this store – it should be a place where people unite and bond over their love of fragrance. It’s supposed to be a happy place. Not the parking lot of Cahoot’s on a Friday night. It’s a disgrace.
But, all that said, I have definitely learned something about the Bath and Body Works that I didn’t know beforehand. If you start actin’ out of line in this place, they will quite literally drag your ass. The clock struck midnight on this lady, and the B&BW employees had had enough – one came in swingin’ and the other went for the neck takedown. They had this woman on the floor before she could say ‘Mahogany Teakwood.’ I don’t know what kind of trouble was caused here, but I learned REAL QUICK that I better not test the BBW….damn it, I did it….after tellin’ y’all NOT to do it….anyway, I better not test the B&BW workers or they’re coming for the throat. They are chock full of DGAF. You push their buttons and they come at you as a united front like a tidal wave. Were any of the employees trying to break this up? Or, did they all hate this woman?
It was like that one announcer that said he wanted to hop down the elevator and get on the field for that fight during a Miami Hurricanes game. Probably shouldn’t be saying those things out loud, but damn it if a good melee isn’t tempting. This one cleared the stock room, for sure. B&BW employees comin’ out left and right. They really cleared the benches.
Also, I feel bad for homeboy that was trying to get this thing settled down and be the enforcer only to end up on the floor on all fours:
All he could do was get up and yell “OUT! NOW!” repeatedly. Wonder what his mood was like after he clocked out that day. Imagine – you have to look at yourself in the mirror after trying to break up a fight at the soap store only to end up face down in the middle of a bunch of people fighting. This has to be the least effective enforcer job in the history of enforcing. I’ll drink to this guy, though – tough break, buddy.
My favorite part of this video going viral is that it inspired people to go down Memory Lane and pull some classic fights in fast food restaurants out of the vault. I can’t show them because we got tiddies floppin’ out left and right and I don’t want to get flagged as explicit content again if I don’t have to. But, these include scraps in McDonald’s and Waffle House that you should definitely scroll through the replies to that tweet to find.
Anyway, I don’t get to write about Bath and Body Works all that much, but I’m a huge fan of their product, so let me use this as an opportunity to share an episode of the SoBros Hot Minute I did a few years ago on Bath and Body Works and how much I love them:
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network, and a Dogs Playing Poker on velvet connoisseur. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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