Someone needs to come get they man ’cause Bill Belichick is out here spending money like it grows on trees. He’s treating the United States dollar as if it has the same value as your ordinary, standard issue raisin. Not a California Raisin, mind you – just a regular ass raisin that you buy at the store. I have absolutely no idea what has gotten into the New England Patriots. I’m a tad worried, and I definitely think someone should remind them that they can only have 53 players on their roster. If they keep signing guys, the Jacksonville Jaguars will have no one to overpay and then trade to the Los Angeles Rams when shit doesn’t work out.
There’s no doubt in my mind that Tom Brady has triggered this whole thing. Belichick, aka Rasputin, simply cannot be beaten….only driven back into the shadows until he regains his strength by consuming the blood of the innocent (I actually like Belichick – please don’t let my jokes convince you otherwise). He watched Brady chuckin’ around the Lombardi Trophy over open water, getting day drunk like a motherfucker, with fists clinched the entire time. The narrative became, “well maybe Brady won the Pats all those Super Bowls…” and now, Belichick and Robert Kraft are out for blood.
It started when they snagged Jonnu Smith on a monster deal. It was painfully…woefully…obvious that the Patriots had to get better at the tight end position after 2020. I’ve watched Smith his entire career here in Nashville, and let me tell you – I love this move. In that system, the way Belichick has historically used his tight ends, football fans that might’ve been sleeping on this guy are about to find out just what a force he can be (assuming he stays healthy). That was a hot start, but it didn’t stop there.
They decided to give Matt Judon an exorbitant amount of cash – a player I thought really excelled in Baltimore because of all the talent around him – to come beef up the pass rush. They grabbed Jalen Mills (who I like) to come bolster that secondary. AND, they revamp their receiving corps by signing the speedy Nelson Agholor and the steady Kendrick Bourne. They just completely overhauled the offense – it’s like they realized that before, they could get by on the skill and talent of the greatest quarterback of all time. Now that they’re going to ride or die with Cam Newton for another year, they’re realizing they have to prop that offense up around him. Listen – I’m kidding around a lot in this post, but I actually like Newton with another year and a more normal offseason under his belt. That Josh McDaniels system isn’t exactly the easiest to learn, much less when you’re starting games on a few weeks notice with no training camp or preseason to get used to it…oh, and you get hurt, by the way. Let’s see how 2021 pans out before we make our ‘Cam Newton is washed‘ jokes.
So, we thought the Patriots were out of control on Day 1. Then, they go and sign Hunter Henry to a big time deal – that’s right, folks. They have something around $87M invested in two free agent tight ends in a matter of a day. Each guy, when healthy, is a top 10 caliber tight end in the league, and now the Pats have ’em both for 2021. Insane. It’s like they’re trying to run back the prime days of Rob Gronkowski and Aaron Hernandez…y’know….just with a lot less literal murder.
As far as I can tell, their total count is up to 19 when you factor in guys returning, tendered RFAs, and the dudes I didn’t even write about (and they just announced they’re bringing back David Andrews as I get this piece wrapped up – sheesh). There’s no doubt Belichick is in scorched Earth mode and will be coming for that ass in 2021. This aggressive free agency period sets that tone.
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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