Alright, guys – this one’s simple. The first round of the NFL Draft is far too unpredictable, and that’s why I HATE when people mock trades in their mock drafts. Who really knows? No one! So, that’s why I don’t do it. You won’t find trades in my mock drafts on SoBros Network. But, for you guys, I thought, “hey – why don’t we have a little fun?” That’s what we’re all about here on SoBros Network. So, give me my big board and the keys to the castle for each NFL team and let’s roll. I’m going to get a little wild and play GM here tonight. I’m going to say what I would do – not what the analysts say should happen.
My Bat Sh*t Crazy 2021 NFL Mock Draft
1. Jacksonville Jaguars: Trevor Lawrence – Okay, I called it ‘wild,’ not dumb. Lawrence is the safest bet in this draft, and there’s no way I’m passing on him.
2. New York Jets: Justin Fields – If you guys read my big board, then you know why I’m not as high on Wilson as others. Fields is the guy to me. Add a real spark to this franchise and build around him.
3. San Francisco 49ers: Mac Jones – I’m not buying that the 49ers still don’t know who they’re going to take. Jones fits Shanahan’s system like a glove, and is the QB3 in my book.
4. TRADE: Denver Broncos: Zach Wilson – I mean, did you guys even watch Drew Lock last season? The Broncos are in the market for a quarterback, and the Falcons are in a great position to trade back and acquire picks.
5. TRADE: New England Patriots: Trey Lance – The time is now for New England. You’ve got five quarterbacks in this draft class who have bona fide franchise potential. The 4th one just went….you can’t afford to wait any longer.
6. Miami Dolphins: Kyle Pitts – The first five picks should be quarterbacks. I don’t know if you’d call that a hot take or not, but there are five franchise guys at the most important position and there are enough quarterback-needy teams to pull the trigger on moving up. That leaves the Fins with Pitts, who could very well end up being the best player in the entire draft. Easy decision.
7. Detroit Lions: Jaylen Waddle – Yep, given the option of any wide receiver in this draft class, I’m taking Waddle. He is a top five player in this draft in my book for his versatility and speed.
8. Carolina Panthers: Rashawn Slater – I differ with a lot of the experts here. I think Slater is the best, and most complete, offensive tackle in this draft.
9. Atlanta Falcons: Zaven Collins – He might seem like a reach at this point, but the Falcons need difference-makers on defense, and if I was the man in charge, I’d pick a guy that I think has a chance to be the best defensive player to come out of this draft. Collins can do it all as a linebacker.
10. Dallas Cowboys: Patrick Surtain II – I’m torn at the cornerback position this year. Surtain gets the edge because of what a shut-down technician he is.
11. New York Giants: DeVonta Smith – Hard to pass on a guy like Sewell here, but I still think making that offense a little more dynamic should be a priority this offseason. Big Blue lands the best route runner in this draft class, his weight be damned.
12. TRADE: Miami Dolphins: Penei Sewell – Okay, hear me out – the Fins aren’t really all that far away from legitimate contention in the AFC. Why not solidify your roster with the tackle of the future and go all in while you can?
13. Los Angeles Chargers: Jaycee Horn – The Chargers should prioritize protecting Justin Herbert, but in need of a corner, I just don’t know how you pass up Horn here.
14. Minnesota Vikings: Kwity Paye – This is DUMB value for a team that needs some serious pass rush help opposite Danielle Hunter.
15. Cincinnati Bengals: Ja’Marr Chase – I’m not as high on Chase as most of the experts. Still, if I’m the Bengals, I’m ecstatic to get the opportunity to reunite him with Joe Burrow here.
16. Arizona Cardinals: Kadarius Toney – The Cards have some major needs on defense, but if I’m in charge of this roster, I’m leaning way into my strengths with my MVP contender at quarterback and one of the best wide receivers in the game. Let’s make this offense even more potent.
17. Las Vegas Raiders: Teven Jenkins – I still go Jenkins over Darrisaw for the Raiders here, given the choice. Jenkins is a nasty road-grader…dude just feels like a Raider.
18. Philadelphia Eagles: Caleb Farley – I’m not the biggest Farley fan, but even I have to acknowledge the talent for a cornerback-needy team like Philadelphia.
19. Washington Football Team: Jeremiah Owusu-Koramoah – I’d love to go offense here to make Washington more of a well-rounded unit, but I just can’t pass up adding the explosive JOK to this defense, making it even more potent than it was in 2020.
20. Chicago Bears: Rashod Bateman – He’s not as physically gifted as Elijah Moore in my opinion, but he fits Matt Nagy’s scheme in how crisp of a route-runner he is.
21. TRADE: Pittsburgh Steelers: Christian Darrisaw – The fact that Darrisaw is still here is too much for the Steelers, who move up to grab some offensive line help.
22. Tennessee Titans: Elijah Moore – I’m taking the speed and explosiveness of Moore and I’m giving my offense a spark.
23. New York Jets: Jaelan Phillips – HOW is Jaelan Phillips still here? The Jets need some teeth in their pass rush, and they just dumb-lucked into a guy some think is the best in this class.
24. Indianapolis Colts: Greg Newsome – The Colts move back and still get an immediate starter at the cornerback position.
25. Jacksonville Jaguars: Travis Etienne – Here we go! I like Najee Harris a lot more, but Etienne fits what the Jags need in the receiving game. He’s the perfect complement to James Robinson, and I want to get the band back together between he and Trevor Lawrence.
26. Cleveland Browns: Micah Parsons – Easy, easy, easy….at 26th overall, I take Parsons and say ‘to hell with the character concerns.’
27. Baltimore Ravens: Alex Leatherwood – It may not be popular, but I’ve established here on the SoBros Patreon that I’m a lot higher on Leatherwood than most people. They get their right tackle for the next 10 years here if I’m making the decisions.
28. New Orleans Saints: Asante Samuel Jr – If I’m the Saints, I would love to have traded up to get Trey Lance, but I don’t think I can offer the capital that the Broncos, Patriots, or even Steelers and Football Team can. So, I stay put and get the cornerback help I need.
29. Green Bay Packers: Alijah Vera-Tucker – I’m taking Alijah Vera-Tucker and I’m doing cartwheels knowing that my offensive line needs a little re-tooling, and I’ve got to keep that run game strong and Aaron Rodgers clean.
30. Buffalo Bills: Christian Barmore – I know the concerns about his effort are there, but I just love the dynamic that Barmore brings to the defensive line, and I won’t be surprised to see someone like Buffalo become enamored with it on draft night.
31. Baltimore Ravens: Azeez Ojulari – The Ravens need a sack guy, plain and simple. Their pass rush hasn’t really had any teeth as of late. I love the way Ojulari fits with this pick, and since we’ve already addressed the offensive line, it makes this one even easier.
32. Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Landon Dickerson – This one might be controversial too, but let’s be real…this Bucs team isn’t in dire need of shit. They can afford to draft one of the best interior linemen in this draft with excellent leadership skills to take over as the captain of the offensive line in a year or two. Dickerson is another prospect that I seem higher on than most.
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network, and a Dogs Playing Poker on velvet connoisseur. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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