Imagine for a moment that you just finished working a shift at the bar you own and feel it would be nice to join a friend at a neighboring waterhole for a cold frosty adult beverage before heading home. Now imagine you are at said local bar and you strike up a conversation with another patron and decide to buy him a drink. Sounds like a typical night in the bar industry, right?
Wrong. Some of the drink you bought for your new ‘friend’ spills on him and as you apologize and buy him a replacement he storms out of the establishment in a huff. The newly damped patron returns with the taste of flesh in his mouth and quickly puts you in a head lock and bites a sizeable chunk of your nose off. Doesn’t sound like a typical night in bar industry now, does it?
I was shocked to learn that this encounter did not happen on lower Broadway in Nashville but rather in Metairie, LA. Bryan Thayer closed his Jefferson Parrish bar on May 8th and joined a friend at a nearby drinking spot where he met who I believe to be Mike Tyson superfan Andrew Nierman. Thayer bought Nierman a drink which spilled on his clothing. Thayer quickly bought him another drink to defuse the situation but to no avail as it was moments later when the violent altercation took place.
What proceeded next was the most bizarre game of “Got Your Nose.” Nierman confronted the owner of BJ’s Patio Bar & Grill and threatened him before grabbing his head and bit a chunk of his nose off. Now with his palate full Nierman leaves the bar and drives off before a Sheriff’s Office Deputy is flagged down and made aware of the situation.
The Sheriff’s Office catches up with Nierman, and according to the incident report, he was quoted as saying “I was accosted by him, so I bit him in his face.” In an interview with the Times-Picayune/New Orleans Advocate, Thayer believes that the injury will prevent him from working at his bar. I am confused – once the injury is healed, how exactly is one unable to work in a food establishment? Surely, he is not opening beer bottles with his nostrils because that is the only thing I have as restriction to working again.
As odd of a story as this is, it has me dream booking a match for WrestleMania next year. Andrew “The Nose Bandit” Nierman vs Nicholas “Colostomy Bag Man” Newhart in a Loser Goes To Rehab Steel Cage Match. This is one match I am sure as hell not sitting front row for.
Photo from Bryan Thayer/GoFundMe
Steven McCash is the Music Columnist for SoBros Network, and host of the ‘Drinking With…’ podcast. He is the pioneer of New Music Friday, highlighting each week’s new releases in the world of music, in addition to the occasional live show review. Follow on Twitter: @MC_Cash75
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