You either die a hero, or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain. The hourglass has finally run out on Batman, who was outed as a downright coward and villain yesterday. That’s right – according to DC, heroes, especially Bruce Wayne, don’t eat pussy. You can catch the full story over on Variety, but I embedded this tweet from Culture Crave because I thought the photo was funny. Isn’t it, though? Just look at Batman’s face – that just looks like the face of a man who is afraid of giving a little head.
DC asked the ‘Harley Quinn’ team to remove a scene in S3 where Batman goes down on Catwoman because ‘heroes don't do that’
— Culture Crave (@CultureCrave) June 14, 2021
(via @Variety) pic.twitter.com/HApzNK2ImY
I can’t even begin to describe how disappointed I am by this revelation. This isn’t at all what the Batman porn parodies have taught me. They paint a very different portrait of Batman. First of all, DC could have just led with “hey we don’t want Batman eating pussy ’cause we have to sell toys to kids.” At least that would’ve made a little bit of sense. I still would have called it lame as hell – hopefully, your kids aren’t watching adult shows. Like, just because it happens on HBO MAX doesn’t mean they have to include it in literature for children to read. They could’ve kept it a secret, y’know? But, I don’t think that’s quite as weird as what they did say. “Heroes don’t do that” has some real incel energy to it. I’ll just say it. I don’t know who, specifically, at DC said that, but I’d be willing to bet that he (we know it was a dude, right?) will turn into the Joker within the next two years.
And, the thing is – I don’t really feel like the logic behind ‘heroes don’t do that’ really holds up all that well. We’re talking about highly stressed-out people, desensitized by seeing the depressing world for what it really is. I feel like you have to be at least a little bit of a freak bitch to be a superhero just to stay sane. You would think Bruce Wayne would be eatin’ pussy, suckin’ dick, chowin’ down on ass – all with a couple beads up his back end. And, that’s just a regular old Tuesday. But, nope – he really is a tightass. Sad! PS. Yes, I made certain that this was the milestone 6,000th post on SoBros Network dot com. You’re welcome.
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network, and a Dogs Playing Poker on velvet connoisseur. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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