I can’t keep up with what type of world we’re livin’ in anymore, y’all. Steven McCash and I talked about it on a recent episode of the SoBros Power Hour, and we probably sounded like a couple of old jaded men, but there are so many different party vehicles, or [REDACTED] as I guess we’re calling it now, that litter the streets of Nashville that it’s getting hard to keep up with. You have the OG pedal tavern. You have the party barge…the party bus…some party tractors. I saw a bus go by with some (mostly) nekkid dudes and a lady’s ankles in the air one night. Hell, I wouldn’t be surprised if you could take a joyride around town in the Bang Bus at this point. My point is that these fucking things are everywhere, and it feels like they’re all starting to blend together. And, being the jaded old man local that I am, I don’t want to ride on any of ’em….ever…except for maybe the drag bus. That seems fun. But….hear me out here fellow jaded old men….the Pontoon Saloon might be a bright spot in a sea of drunken-induced Broadway vomit.
That’s right – I just happened to come across this post while I was scrolling through #Nashville on Instagram a few days ago. So, I’m not sure if the Pontoon Saloon has an ace marketing team or if the Instagram algorithm has finally learned what I want wholeheartedly. But, here we are….
Courtesy of the Pontoon Saloon website:
The Pontoon Saloon® is Nashville’s Premier party barge on the Cumberland River. We are one of a kind in downtown Nashville, as the only River Cruise with the best view of Music City! Step aboard the 50-foot floating Saloon equipped with an open floor plan for plenty of room to hit the dance floor! Our custom pontoon has a sound system, a server, and plenty of coolers for your beverage of choice.
The Saloon holds up to 45 guests with tabletop seating and an open-top bow. This bring-your-own beverage cruise gives you 2 hrs to enjoy the river and amazing views of downtown Nashville.
Okay, so hell yeah – you’re telling me that the gang and I can get together on a boat, drink the day away, there’s a dance floor, AND I don’t have to worry about the stress of downtown traffic? Sign me the hell up. I’d take back every bad thing I ever said about [REDACTED] if it all led me to the Pontoon Saloon. Nothing says summer time like daydrinking on a boat. Besides, not to get too sappy on you guys, but a nice gentle stroll down the Cumberland River can provide some of my favorite views of our fair city. If someone from the Pontoon Saloon wants to extend an offer for a SoBros Network team ride, I certainly wouldn’t refuse it. What? Y’all act like you don’t know me. I am shameless like Garth Brooks, motherfuckers. My parting thought on this post: can we abolish the word [REDACTED] while we’re at it? I mean, why did y’all take the ‘r’ out to begin with? Wouldn’t ‘transportainment’ make a lot more sense? Sound a lot better? Who is responsible for this word existing? And, why do they still have a job?
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network, and a Dogs Playing Poker on velvet connoisseur. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
Check out the SoBros Shop. Become a Patron. Give us money for no reason. Like us on Facebook. Follow us on Twitter @SoBrosNetwork. Watch on YouTube.
