#VicksFlicks Terse Twitter Reviews – Vol. 50

Brandon Vick hits the Hitman's Wife's Bodyguard, that new Conjuring joint, In the Heights, and more on the latest edition of Terse Twitter Reviews!

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THE HITMAN’S WIFE’S BODYGUARD

1.5 out of 5 stars

A shoddy sequel that has no business being made as director Patrick Hughes obviously didn’t learn a damn thing after making the first one. Ryan Reynolds and Samuel L. Jackson’s chemistry is still MIA, and you’d think having Salma Hayek jump into the absurdity would spice things up; however, just like her co-stars, she falls victim in trying to turn a dumb character into someone audiences might care about. It’s never going to happen. Whether it’s the action or the jokes, neither are that great – and what does stick mostly comes from Reynolds. No surprise there. The only thing this drudging action flick is great at is being too goofy for its own good.

THE CONJURING: THE DEVIL MADE ME DO IT

2.5 out of 5 stars

Patrick Wilson and Vera Farmiga are always fantastic when portraying Ed and Lorraine Warren. They’re inarguably the emotional backbone of this franchise and a big reason as to why these flagship films are elite. With that said, this is the weakest of the three as the story is nowhere near the level of its more frightening forgoers. Director Michael Chaves takes over for James Wan, ditching haunted houses for demonic possession and curses – taking the Warrens down a different path that sadly makes for a rather stale sequel. Besides a hell of an opening and a few other decent jump scares, the horror thrills just aren’t there like before. For all that is missing here, Wan’s presence feels like the main one that’s most noticeable. The Devil made The Conjuring go from great to generic.

RITA MORENO: JUST A GIRL WHO DECIDED TO GO FOR IT

3.5 out of 5 stars

The EGOT Latina legend doesn’t have a lying bone in her body. In Mariem Pérez Riera’s classic portrait, Moreno tells her truth of who she was and who she finally found the freedom to be. She’s a barrier breaker who has taken everything Hollywood has thrown at her and continues to go for it to this day. Moreno is obviously a sensational storyteller, her charisma and humor lights up the screen. She’s also certainly not afraid to show her wounds with the issue of self-worth always looming while opening up about her racist roles, her Oscar winning performance in West Side Story, and her noxious romance with Marlon Brando. There’s a lot to cover in a career that spans over 70 years, and what’s shared is a mixture of amusing, awful, and amazing. This gratifyingly introspective documentary has Moreno rejoicing while we watch in admiration of her acting, dancing, singing, and using her voice for change. What a career. What a woman. What a life.

PLAN B

1.5 out of 5 stars

The charming chemistry that flows between Kuhoo Verma and Victoria Moroles won’t save this relatively unfunny, typical teen sex comedy. The story of a straight-laced high schooler and her offbeat best friend on a road trip through South Dakota for the morning after pill thinks it has a fresh perspective to share. It’s actually quite the opposite as everything presented on-screen from director Natalie Morales has been done before and way better. The mischief the girls get into is raunchy yet run-of-the-mill that’s not the least bit clever, and what’s more – the overall movie comes across as an abysmal attempt to appear current and hip.

IN THE HEIGHTS

4.5 out of 5 stars

Lin-Manuel Miranda’s mesmerizing musical bursts on to the screen with so much life, beauty, and hope. Directed by Jon M. Chu, he excels in orchestrating such an extraordinary euphoria with an unbelievably gifted cast. Anthony Ramos doesn’t throw away his shot as Usnavi. It’s a sterling, star-making role that’ll change his career forever. Getting swept up in an impassioned, staggering story illustrated by vibrant colors, spectacular songs, and electrifying choreography is an outright pleasure to experience firsthand. As a lovely and vitalizing celebration of Latino/Latina culture and community – there’s a sense of pride in where they come from amid dreaming of where they want to be. With unstoppable dancing in the streets, Miranda and Chu wave an uplifting message of inclusion where no one is left feeling powerless.

THE SPARKS BROTHERS

3.5 out of 5 stars

Russell and Ron Mael are abnormal artists and, through thick and thin, stayed true to themselves and the music they spawned as Sparks with 25 albums and counting. Whether you’re their upmost devotees or don’t have a damn clue who they are, writer-director Edgar Wright’s debut documentary will have you entirely enraptured with these brothers. Manifesting their magnetic energy and humor, he guides us through a wild career that has been hugely instrumental in the music world without getting credit where credit is due. With Russell and Ron just being themselves, and the use of some amazing animation, Wright hands us a charged chronicle of one of his favorite bands that’s fittingly outré, loving, and jaunty. After watching it, the fanboy behind the camera and the two musical maestros in front of it are a match made in heaven – celebrating creative expression with no constraints.

GAIA

2.5 out of 5 stars

Director Jaco Bouwer gets your attention at first with his singular environmental horror circling around an injured park ranger who is rescued out in the menacing wilderness by weird, withdrawn father/son survivalists. The world established is alluring while boasting real intrigue with nature-made, noxious monsters sprouting up and ideas of worship and Mother Earth’s scorn. It’s also hardly predictable and the effects and makeup are well-crafted. Though, little by little, the story sinks in to being more cryptic, with Bouwer and writer Tertius Kapp losing sight of the film’s purpose and the message they’re wanting to get across to the audience. They have so much on their mind visually and plot wise that one is bound to get the short end of the stick, and it’s plainly the latter.

HOLLER

2 out of 5 stars

Writer-director Nicole Riegel’s debut feature is a less than compelling coming-of-age tale about Ruth (Jessica Barden), a young woman who wants more but is afraid to leave her brother Blaze (Gus Halper) behind. But unbeknownst to her, Blaze finishes her college application and sends it off. If Ruth won’t apply for an opportunity to get out of her dead-end town then he’ll do it for her. She gets into college but they are now left scrounging for the cash to pay for it, thus leads Ruth and Blaze to work for Hark (Austin Amelio), putting themselves in danger while scrapping metal. The cast is more than willing to tell this rugged story that’s smothered in bad situations and difficult decisions, but it’s also so generic and predictable. It’s a Winter’s Bone wannabe that’s missing a much-needed strong central character to drive home Riegel’s message of escaping from becoming a product of your environment because Ruth ain’t it.

INFINITE

1 out of 5 stars

Another Mark Wahlberg action flick is here and will be forgotten in no time. Reuniting with his Shooter director, Antoine Fuqua, their ridiculous reincarnation story of the battle between Believers and Nihilists and memories being past lives is totally tiresome. Wahlberg plays Evan Michaels who use to be Heinrich Treadway (Dylan O’Brien) who stole an egg-shaped weapon, but can’t remember in this life where he hid it. If only he didn’t have that damn steel plate in his head. Then we have the evil-minded Ted Murray, played by a scene-chewing Chiwetel Ejiofor, who’s so over the whole living multiple lives thing. He’s more than ready to wipe out the world and really needs that egg of mass destruction to do it. When it comes to the action, characters, and performances – they all feel lazy or flat-out lifeless. Seriously, there’s very little here to suggest Fuqua and Wahlberg aren’t half-assing this across-the-board.

Brandon Vick is a member of The Music City Film Critics’ Association, the resident film critic of the SoBros Network, and the star of The Vick’s Flicks Podcast. Follow him on Twitter @SirBrandonV and be sure to search #VicksFlicks for all of his latest movie reviews.

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