I am borderline having a crisis today after seeing the video we’re about to discuss in this post. My mind has been blown and I just don’t really know what to do to recover from it. I think of myself as a pretty progressive dude – y’know, I’m not going to judge anyone for their weird food shit (except for ranch on pizza). I’m all for living your best life and breaking down the establishment. You want to do something rowdy? I say go for it – put fig on a fucking pizza. That shit is delicious! But, I’ve lived with the watermelon in my life for as long as I can remember. It’s been a staple of just about every summer I’ve ever spent on this planet. Never in all those years (34), have I ever thought about eating the watermelon rind.
What a mad lad pic.twitter.com/e7INOho7BS
— Dudes Posting Their W’s (@DudespostingWs) June 7, 2021
He’s not even thinking twice about it, and I think that’s what’s most disturbing about this whole thing. This kid is just tearing into this watermelon rind like it’s an apple. Look how thick that fucking rind in! That has to be close to just biting into a raw tire. How do you learn to do this? Did his parents teach him this when he was younger? Or, was this just some insane impulse that lived within this child? OMG wait – is it possible? Is eating the watermelon rind actually good? Should I try it?! I guess you never really know until you try anything.
I feel like this is a young Patrick Bateman in some sort of weird alternate timeline. Also, I think I’m going to have to start going to more cricket games if they’re dishing out watermelons at the concession stands. That’s some next level summertime concession goodness right there – we need to get the Nashville Sounds and Nashville SC in on this trend STAT. Regardless, this is what being comfortable in your own skin looks like – it may be the most confusing shit
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network, and a Dogs Playing Poker on velvet connoisseur. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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