Am I Tripping Balls or Did the Carolina Panthers Turn a Giant Kaiju Panther Loose?

The Carolina Panthers unveiled a new mixed reality panther on Sunday, and quite frankly, I am scared.

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We all know some supernatural shit follows Carolina Panthers quarterback Sam Darnold around everywhere he goes, as cited on Monday Night Football when he said out loud that he was “seeing ghosts.” Well, it looks like some spooky inter-dimensional Doctor Strange shit has followed Darnold to Charlotte, as the Panthers apparently turned a giant panther loose in the stadium yesterday. Okay, that’s the last one – we are officially retiring Sam Darnold seeing ghosts jokes moving forward. The dude’s getting a fresh start with the Panthers, and he has all the weapons a quarterback could ask for. So, let’s see this thing play out. Super easy to poke fun at the ‘seeing ghosts’ things, but that dude is still a talented quarterback that I’d bet will get his career turned around with the Panthers.

Anyway, now that I’ve explained away my blatantly disrespectful joke and hedged my bet with Darnold, allow me to draw your attention back to this giant panther that hops around the stadium before chewing up a New York Jets flag and roaring from the skies.

Now, when they say ‘mixed reality,’ what do they mean? I’ve had quite a bit to drink today, but that panther looks real. And, it looks like something that would crawl out of the jungle to battle King Kong and/or Godzilla. Could the people in the stadium see this thing? Because there is a one million percent chance that if I had seen this thing in the crowd, I would have:

  1. Shit my pants
  2. Run for the hills

No word, as far as I can tell, on whether or not this was a planned event, or if a legitimate kaiju panther got loose in Charlotte. I would’ve figured that kind of thing would be on Good Morning America this morning, but it wasn’t. So, I’m leaning towards this thing not being a real panther.

Nonetheless, Darnold was solid yesterday, going 24/35 for 279 yards and a touchdown, with another rushing touchdown on the stat line too. He did lose a fumble, but by and large, a good showing as the Panthers beat the Jets 19-14.

Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network, and a Dogs Playing Poker on velvet connoisseur. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD, #BeBetter, and ‘Minds right, asses tight.’ “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, Yankee Candle, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley

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