I can hardly believe it, folks. Here we are yet again – another kickoff to another NFL season. We can say it yet again, loud and proud, FOOTBALL IS BACK! Tonight, we have ourselves quite the match-up brewing between the defending Super Bowl Champion Tampa Bay Buccaneers and the rebounding Dallas Cowboys… two of the best offenses in the entire league. There should be some fireworks in this one! So, we gotta do what we do best on these momentous occasions – it’s time for another SoBros staple drinking game. This time, it’s for Bucs-Cowboys.
As it stands, ESPN’s matchup predictor gives the Bucs a 69.8% chance of winning the game (#nice). Taking the defending champs in these Thursday night season kickoff games may be the safest bet in all of sports. But, there’s an eight-point spread favoring the Bucs that creeps me out a little bit. You just never know with these big NFL spreads. The safer bet in all of this maybe the over on that 51.5 point total. Regardless, it feels good to be back. YES! We’re talkin’ FOOTBALL, BABY! Let’s get into it – pull up my Bucs-Cowboys Drinking Game and let’s riiiiiiiide.
Bucs-Cowboys Drinking Game
Take a drink if/when…
- You hear the term ‘covid protocol.’
- You hear the term ‘unprecedented times.’
- Someone comments on the fans being back in the stands.
- These first three rules alone might have you passed out on your floor by the end of the first quarter so I’ll make a rule to keep you hydrated – two sips of water for every shot of Bruce Arians looking frumpy on the sideline.
- Any quarterback gets sacked.
- There’s a fumble. Another drink if it’s recovered by the defense.
- Anyone brings up Dak Prescott‘s injury.
- They show clips of the Bucs winning the Super Bowl. Take an additional drink every time the Lombardi Trophy is seen.
- They bring up Tom Brady‘s age.
- Prescott amasses 50 passing yards.
- Leonard Fournette amasses 10 yards rushing. Bonus drink if anyone refers to him as “Playoff Lenny.”
- Ezekiel Elliott takes a ball 10 yards (rush or reception)
- Amari Cooper, CeeDee Lamb, Mike Evans, or Rob Gronkowski scores a touchdown.
- Brady throws a touchdown.
- Someone mentions the Cowboys’ “defensive struggles” from a season ago. Might also want to be careful with this one.
- There’s a lead change. Yes, every time either team takes the lead, you take a drink.
Take a shot if/when…
- There’s a defensive or special teams touchdown.
- Tom Brady tallies 10 rushing yards.
- Trevon Diggs or Antoine Winfield, Jr. gets an interception. Double up if it’s a pick six.
- They actually hit the over (51.5).
- The Bucs actually cover the eight-point spread.
As always, stay safe out there and drink responsibly! If you drink, don’t drive. Do the watermelon crawl. FOOTBALL SEASON IS HERE!
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network, and a Dogs Playing Poker on velvet connoisseur. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD, #BeBetter, and ‘Minds right, asses tight.’ “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, Yankee Candle, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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