Since I started writing about sports all the way back in 2013, I’ve been running this yearly feature. Since Thanksgiving is a time for reflection, I’ve taken the liberty to provide one thing that each NFL team’s fan base should be looking at as a blessing. I’m not going to waste any more words on this intro since this piece is usually well over 1,000 words strong, so let’s get right to it.
WHAT EACH NFL FAN BASE SHOULD BE THANKFUL FOR THIS THANKSGIVING
Arizona Cardinals – I’ll tell ya, if that game against the Panthers didn’t remind you, Cardinals fans, you ought to be thanking your lucky stars that you have Kyler Murray at quarterback. He was an MVP candidate before he went down with an injury. With him, this is a Super Bowl contender.
Atlanta Falcons – Falcons fans should be thankful for bad football teams, because apparently, those are the only teams they can beat (no offense to the Saints, who were just caught in the crossfire of this joke). Thankfully, they have several more on their schedule this season.
Baltimore Ravens – There’s no other answer than Lamar Jackson. If this team didn’t have Jackson, it would be a bottom-feeder in the AFC. Hell, they had Jackson and STILL lost to the Dolphins.
Buffalo Bills – I’ve probably already said this one, but I’m going to go with Sean McDermott and this entire coaching staff. It’s perennially underrated as one of the best, most stable, staffs in the league. And, I guess you guys can also be thankful for table manufacturers.
Chicago Bears – This might sound counterintuitive, but Bears fans should be thankful, and should be celebrating every loss they incur. Why? Because every game they lose gets them closer to firing Matt Nagy, and this franchise won’t take the next step forward until they fire Matt Nagy.
Cincinnati Bengals – Be thankful that the 2019 LSU Tigers did what they did. Otherwise, you might not have Joe Burrow and Ja’Marr Chase on this offense.
Cleveland Browns – You guys should be thankful for 2020….because it’s starting to look like 2021 might not be it… *grimace emoji*
Dallas Cowboys – Not that the Cowboys aren’t good, because they are…they’re legit Super Bowl contenders. But, be thankful for the NFC East affording them the opportunity to stockpile wins and earn a better seed in the NFC playoffs.
Denver Broncos – Be thankful that the NFL decided to loosen up a bit and let teams wear throwback uniforms again this year. Seriously, those all orange with the blue throwback helmet unis were straight fire. Just…y’know…try not to think about the outcome of the game during which they were worn.
Detroit Lions – It’s awfully bleak in the Motor City this season, but at least you have Dan Campbell, who at least makes this team interesting, right? What would us degenerate bloggers have done this season if we didn’t have Campbell’s comments on biting kneecaps to write about?
Green Bay Packers – Oh, this one’s easy. Packers fans should absolutely be thankful for Joe Rogan, who was able to apparently cure Aaron Rodgers of his covid and get him back on the field quicker. Miracle! Also, the Aaron Rodgers lying on his back memes.
Houston Texans – The NFL Draft….start thinking about it, Texans fans. It’s the best way to rebuild a team, or so I’m told.
Indianapolis Colts – The easy answer is the second best running back in football, Jonathan Taylor, but I’m going to be a bit biased and say that Colts fans should be incredibly thankful that they have such talented guys as Jake Arthur and Josh Carney covering the team.
Jacksonville Jaguars – No matter what the Jags ever do on the field, it’ll never top having pools in the stadium. So, I am yet again [insert Bernie Sanders meme] going with “pools in the stadium” for the Jacksonville Jaguars.
Kansas City Chiefs – It’s got to be Jackson Mahomes. You want to talk about deflecting anger, everyone was so pissed about whatever Jackson Mahomes was doing that week, that they didn’t even care about how bad his brother was sucking at the moment. Conspiracy theory: it was all done on purpose to keep the pressure off of Patrick. *puts on tinfoil hat*
Las Vegas Raiders – Hey, you guys live in Las Vegas. Who cares that Derek Carr is going to look like an MVP candidate for about four weeks and then the Raiders are going to completely fall apart? Just go get drunk and gamble.
Los Angeles Chargers – This one might anger some people, but I’m going to say be thankful you don’t play in San Diego anymore. If you were the only team in your market, people might actually pay attention and complain when you lose. Instead, everyone in LA is watching the Rams (if they’re watching football at all), so no pressure at all, guys!
Los Angeles Rams – It’s a copout, I know…but I have a huge soft spot in my heart for Matthew Stafford, so I’m going to say Matthew Stafford. Look at what his addition has meant for this Rams offense. He’s a bona fide MVP candidate and the Rams are Super Bowl contenders because he’s been the difference for this offense from a season ago.
Miami Dolphins – There’s not much for Dolphins fans to be thankful for right now, so look to yesteryear for this one. Put on some old Dan Marino highlights and relive the glory days of one of the greatest quarterbacks to ever do it.
Minnesota Vikings – Look, this team is a bit hot and cold this season, so it’s scary to say ‘be thankful’ for anything on the field, because it could be the complete opposite the next week. So, I’m going to say this – and it’s not going to change – that shade of purple may be the best shade of purple in all of sports. Be thankful for the slick unis.
New England Patriots – I’ll tell ya hwhat, Pats fans…it sure looks like you have your next franchise quarterback in Mac Jones. Maybe 2020 was just a hiccup in the grand legacy of Bill Belichick after all?
New Orleans Saints – I can’t recall a draft class in recent years as good as the Saints’ 2017 draft class – Marshon Lattimore, Ryan Ramczyk, Marcus Williams, Alvin Kamara. Are you serious? These guys are some of the primary reasons this team is in the hunt this season. Just a stellar run on talent that year.
New York Giants – I think I’d go with all the fights in training camp during the preseason. If not for that, what on Earth would we talk about with this team?
New York Jets – It’s the Mike White game. The Mike White hype train didn’t last very long – don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened. Just watch that big game against the Bengals over and over every Sunday for the remainder of the season and forget the real world exists.
Philadelphia Eagles – I’m just going to say it out loud – you guys should be thankful that the larger sports world thinks so little of your fan base (obligatory ‘they threw snowballs at Santa’ mention) that you can basically say anything you want and no one will bat an eye ’cause that’s just “Philly fans.” I wish I was off the hook to just recklessly call for people’s jobs and do insane shit at games and burn the city down when we win the Super Bowl and no one would think anything of it. That’s a certain kind of freedom that I don’t think any other fan base gets.
Pittsburgh Steelers – Be thankful y’all didn’t actually lose to the Lions. I never would’ve let Steelers fans hear the end of it.
San Francisco 49ers – I know this season isn’t exactly going the way y’all had hoped, but at least you have George Kittle back. That dude is not only a ton of fun to watch, but he is an absolute electric factory. Best tight end in football when healthy.
Seattle Seahawks – Times are tough right now, Seahawks fans. Maybe this is the time to hit rewind and relive Super Bowl XLVIII, one of the most dominant performances in the history of the big game. Cheers to the good times, and not being held to 0 points in the modern NFL.
Tampa Bay Buccaneers – Bucs fans, let’s just forget those ugly losses to the Saints and the Football Team. Remember that the regular season doesn’t matter. Pffftttt….don’t even bother watching this team until the playoffs starts. No reason for concern at all.
Tennessee Titans – Be thankful that Titans Twitter is a place that exists in the universe, for it never fails to entertain. If you don’t believe me, just check out Robert Greenlaw’s weekly ‘terrible Twitter takes’ piece on Broadway Sports. Also, be thankful for ‘Coach of the Year’ frontrunner, Mike Vrabel.
Washington Football Team – Congratulations, I think you guys successfully broke the defending Super Bowl champions:
“The stupidity has to go away,” Bruce Arians says after today’s loss. Said Bucs are a “very dumb” team and that’s a reflection of coaching.
— Greg Auman (@gregauman) November 14, 2021
That’s funny as hell. Take your victory lap, Washington fans.
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network, and a Dogs Playing Poker on velvet connoisseur. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD, #BeBetter, and ‘Minds right, asses tight.’ “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, Yankee Candle, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley.
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