Welcome all degenerate gamblers back into our weekly American football betting column here on the SoBros Network, Tank the 401k. Call your bookie and empty those retirement accounts (actually, don’t really do that – this is just sarcasm. Our lawyers say we shouldn’t claim to be experts on anything because we’re not)! Each week, the SoBros team up to offer their five locks of the week – obviously, we’re not professionals here so take this advice with a grain of salt and don’t sue us if you piss all of your money away. That’s not our fault. Okay, I think we’re all set here – here are this week’s SoBros gambling picks.
Stan’s Picks
Editor’s note: Stan’s traveling for the holiday – I’ll get his picks added as soon as I get ’em.
Steven’s Picks
It only took the final week of the season for me to realize that my problem is I’m not good at betting point spreads but I’m basically Sheldon Cooper when it comes to betting over/under. Still going to rock the reverse psychology gimmick until it works.
- Ole Miss/MSU o62
- Houston/UConn o56
- OSU/Michigan u64.5
- Bama/Auburn o56
- Buffalo/New Orleans u45.5
Stoney’s Picks
I’m holding strong at 53.3% right now, but one bad week and I’m back under 50%. What did we learn last week? Never trust Utah State. No pressure – hey, before I get into it, allow me to wish you all a happy Thanksgiving. Thank you guys for keeping up with Tank the 401k. Now, let’s go.
- Ohio State @ Michigan, UNDER 64.5 – I love this under for a couple of reasons. For one, it’s a high pressure situation, which usually favors the defenses and a slow start. For another, Ohio State could win this game 59-0 and I don’t think anyone would be surprised right now.
- Titans +6.5 – Fuck it, let’s go. This Titans team always performs better in games it has no business winning. This number opened at 5.5 and has been bet up to 6.5. I’m not calling for the outright win, but this is going to be a defensive battle, and I imagine it’ll come down to the wire.
- Western Kentucky +1.5 – The Hilltoppers have been on a mission since starting C-USA play and I don’t think it ends until they’re challenging UTSA in the C-USA championship game. I love Bailey Zappe and this potent offense to get the job done at Marshall.
- Wisconsin -6.5 @ Minnesota – I just love the makeup of this Badgers team. They are built to go on the road and beat people up. Not to mention, they still need to win this one to get into the Big Ten Championship. I like ’em comfortably here.
- Eagles -3.5 – Give me the Eagles all day over the Giants. Jalen Hurts is progressing as a quarterback, and they’re starting to put the pieces together where the Giants are trending in the opposite direction.
SEASON STATS
- Stan last week: (2-3)
- Stan’s 2021 W-L: (32-26-2) – 55.2%
- Steven last week: (1-4)
- Steven’s 2021 W-L: (21-35-4) – 37.5%
- Stoney last week: (3-2)
- Stoney’s 2021 W-L: (32-28) – 53.3%
- SoBros last week: (6-9) – 40%
- SoBros 2021 W-L: (85-89-6) – 48.8%
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network, and a Dogs Playing Poker on velvet connoisseur. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD, #BeBetter, and ‘Minds right, asses tight.’ “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, Yankee Candle, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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