I just simply can’t believe we’re on the EIGHTH year of Ridiculously Fabricated Bowl Names. It’s honestly one of my favorite pieces we run every year. Just because it’s so absurd and fun, but I don’t think I’ll ever write a better intro than I did several years ago, so let me trot that out again for 2021:
College football is weird, man. Not only can you not have a winning season and make it to a bowl game, but the millions of dollars floating around these games have created some pretty interesting names for the bowls themselves. There’s The Famous Idaho Potato Bowl, The Dollar General Bowl, The Motel 6 Cactus Bowl, and The Nova Home Loans Arizona Bowl just to name a few. Those are real bowl names, too!
We haven’t even started listing our fake bowl names. That is real – and it’s a testament to the power of the dollar.
For the right price, you could slap any name on any bowl game, and ESPN and the NCAA would run with it. How else do you think the AdvoCare V100 Texas Bowl came to fruition?
So, yeah – what we’re doing here is providing a little bit of humor to get you through your work day. But, it’s also a bit of social commentary on the absurdity of the 80+ college football bowl games we’re getting ready to witness. It’s my favorite piece of the year.
On top of all of that, they hand out some really odd trophies. “Congrats on the fine season! Here’s this giant, polished BOWL OF ORANGES!” That tradition is made even weirder by the fact that the head coach, MVP, or someone usually starts taking the oranges out of the bowl and throwing them around to teammates. When did this become a thing?
Yeah – it’s crazy, but let’s cut the bullshit and get down to brass tacks – what follows is literally just a list of made-up bowl games. So, if you’re not into that, best be GTFO right now.
RIDICULOUSLY FABRICATED BOWL NAMES, YEAR 8
- The Jimmy Kimmel Bowl wait I think that one’s real
- The Black Friday OOPS It’s Not Black Friday Bowl
- The AEW TNT Championship Bowl brought to you by Cracker Barrel
- The Omicron Mass Casualty Bowl
- The Point Pleasant Mothman Bowl sponsored by Sears
- Thomas Kinkade’s Bowl of Light brought to you by Checker’s
- The Trans-Siberian Orchestra Wizards In Winter Bowl
- John Legend Presents The Polar Express Bowl
- The 50 Cent Vitamin Water Bowl
- Mr. Gatty’s Presents the Winged Gull Bowl
- The Jersey Shore Bat Shit Classic
- The Time Magazine Norman Rockwell Bowl
- The SoBros Network Gin Friday Bowl
- Ridiculousness presents The Fighting Spirit Bowl
- The Tulip Bowl sponsored by House of Gucci, in theaters now
- The Danny Devito’s Butt from Big Fish Bowl
- The Papa John’s 30 Pizzas In 30 Hours Bowl
- Mr. Clean’s Stinkin’ Hot Mess Bowl
- The Symphony Bowl brought to you by the music of Three 6 Mafia
- The Tullahoma Swamp Water Bowl
- The Charmin Giant Bear Shits Bowl
- The Cumberland River Trash Bowl
- The Christmas Place Strains of Capitalism Bowl
- The Michael Strahan Collection’s Pure Sex Bowl
- The Broadway Sports Tickle Monster Bowl
- The Oscar Meyer Turn Your Head and Cough Bowl
- James Corden Presents The Dumbledore Bowl In Celebration of the Life of Richard Harris
- The Sunsetter Retractable Awning Red Pill Football Classic
- The KFC Fat Fried Fuck Bowl
- The MANSCAPED Clean Taint Bowl (reminder to get 20% off and free shipping with the promo code SOBROSTITANS20 at MANSCAPED.com – your balls will thank you)
Twitter Submissions
From Brett, whose tweets are protected: “The Gary Vaynerchuk NFT Scam Bowl.”
The Precious: Based on the Novel 'Push' by Sapphire Bowl
— Al Getz (@AlGetzWrestling) December 6, 2021
Lysol Toilet Bowl
— Josh McSwain (@joshuadmcswain) December 7, 2021
The Trojan High Intensity Ultra Thin with Spermicide Condom Bowl
— Adam ellis (@Adamellis31) December 6, 2021
The Applebee's Seattle Bowl
— Sox, kid (@trtidwell) December 6, 2021
The Nature Valley Whole Wheat Bowl
— Jack Kopanski (@Jack_Kopanski) December 6, 2021
The Taco Bell Toilet Bowl
The Smuckers Can’t Jelly This… on second thought, forget that last one
RIDICULOUSLY FABRICATED BOWL NAMES ARCHIVES
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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