Let’s face it – every day we are routinely bombarded with questions. When you’re an emerging media company in Nashville, people just want to know what your opinions are on everything. It’s only natural. And, since our duty is to serve the people, well, we have no choice but to be present. That’s the SoBro Way. Also, aren’t mailbags just a barrel of laughs anyway? Welcome to the newest weekly recurring feature up in this bitch: The SoBros Mailbag. As always, hit us with those mailbag questions @SoBrosNetwork on Twitter, email ’em to me anonymously at thesobrosnetwork@gmail.com. And, holy shit, I need to update this terrible intro paragraph that I’ve been using literally ever since I started writing this column…
Question:
Look at this man and his cat
— Moon Knigha (@Xenoxands) February 24, 2022
Answer:
This is the life, E. My car is currently broken down in my driveway, so I just never leave the house anymore. It’s me and Bucky all the time. He’s my companion…follows me around the house wherever I go…has his own little bed of t-shirts that I fucked up screenprinting in my office that he chills in while I work. Just a man and his cat. This is all I need.
Question:
What natural disaster will cause Garth to cancel his Nashville show this time?
— Captain 2-3 (@MC_Cash75) February 24, 2022
I’m going with a limnic eruption
Answer:
First of all, I had to look up what a limnic eruption was so thank you for forcing me to learn something new today, Steven. I also had to really fight the childish urge to make some sort of “limpdick” eruption joke because that’s just where my brain goes. Anyway, the odds on favorite HAS to be tornado right? The show is coming to Nissan Stadium on 4/16, so that’s like….right in the heart of tornado season here. I’m going to add ‘flood’ as a dark horse, though.
Question, from Olivia on Facebook:
What’s the longest the SoBros have gone without washing their hair?
Answer:
My answer is “a day” – I’ve gone a day without washing my hair and it absolutely drives me nuts. But, I sweat so much that it’s really easy for my hair to get gross and I’m a bit of a clean freak. I took this question to the SoBros Slack for the rest of the group to answer – here’s how that conversation went:
Stoney: “Mailbag question: what’s the longest everyone has gone without washing their hair?”
Rooster: “I wash mine every day.”
Cad: “Probably a week”
Brandon: “3 days”
Cad: “My wife experiments between 2-4 days of no washing, seemed to help in the long run with less greasy hair”
Owen: “I don’t have hair”
Rooster: “yeah I have heard that it’s good for hair to go a couple days between washes and even my hairdresser asked me how often I wash mine, but I wouldn’t be able to do it. I can’t go to bed if I feel dirty.”
Cad: “Same, I’ve gone days in between (just lazy, not experimenting) and the grease levels remain ridiculous”
Brittany: “……………….I literally wash my hair like once every 3 weeks. If I wash too much, it’s oily as hell.”
Rooster: “haha you have such nice long hair that i knew you had to wait between washes, but dang.”
Brittany: “Lmao yeah my hairdresser had to lecture me and I just use dry shampoo or baby powder. Also my hair is green right now and I don’t want it to fade too fast. Also thank you”
Steven: “Before you make your ‘but Steven you’re bald’ jokes my longest was four days when I would go to Bonnaroo”
Cad: “Well, the question didn’t specify which hair
. You’re still good”
Steven: “Shiiiiit, my Manscaped Lawnmower says otherwise”
Question, from Brian on Facebook:
WTH are the Colts going to do at QB?!
Answer:
Y’know….maybe in 2021 we learned that Carson Wentz wasn’t the longterm answer at quarterback for the Colts. I think most football fans would agree with that. But, was he really THAT bad that they decided to just can his ass? I mean…they must’ve really been pissed off about that Jacksonville game to finish the season. I can’t fathom this decision in this particular offseason – the free agent class isn’t going to inspire confidence. Are they going to try and make a play for Mitchell Trubisky or Jameis Winston to save the franchise? This draft class isn’t inspiring a ton of confidence either, and even if it did, the Colts don’t have a first round pick! Are you telling me that Sam Ehlinger is the guy?!?!? The Colts already had some problems with their roster – now, they probably have the biggest one you could have. But, to give you an actual answer, maybe they make a big splash move and trade for a Kirk Cousins, Matt Ryan, or Jimmy Garoppolo. They have some cap space, and they have some pieces they could move – so, they do at least appear like they could position themselves to make a run at a guy like that. That’s the only thing that makes sense to me.
Keep the questions coming – catch y’all next week!
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network, and a Dogs Playing Poker on velvet connoisseur. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD, #BeBetter, and ‘Minds right, asses tight.’ “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, Yankee Candle, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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