The Road to WrestleMania started in St. Louis and the WWE is driving in the fast lane on their way to AT&T Stadium after an electrifying Royal Rumble. The Royal Rumble has become most fans’ favorite premium live event because of the surprises the show has become famous for. The card for WrestleMania really begins to come to form after the Royal Rumble.
I am one of those fans whose favorite premium live event is the Royal Rumble and when it was announced that it was going to be in St. Louis, I circled the date on my calendar, eager to knock it off my wrestling bucket list. I drove up from Nashville and met up with some friends to watch the show.
After making it to our seats and getting settled in, the rows around us begin to fill up. The row in front of us had some interesting characters in it. Two guys in matching hoodies repping their wrestling podcast were joined by a guy dressed in a Kentucky basketball jersey and joined with a friend in a grey hoodie. It was real apparent really quick the last two had pre-gamed rather hard. A man in a Harley-Davidson leather jacket set next to the first group with two early-twentysomethings that I assumed were his sons.
After an exciting, albeit confusing, opening match between Seth Rollins and WWE Universal Champion Roman Reigns, the Women’s Royal Rumble match was up next. As the women’s match proceeded, I noticed the guy in the grey hoodie began to say some really disturbing things about the women wrestlers. The older man took great offense to his words, as all of us did, and told the man to stop talking like that because there were numerous children around. The guy in the hoodie wasn’t phased by the man’s demand. He began to scream, asking the women to show their genitals to him, and other vulgar things.
The friend in the UK jersey was grabbing him and telling him to shut up, as the gentleman in the Harley jacket was beginning to get really heated. After many threats of violence that seemed to fall on deaf ears, the older man grabbed the younger guy by the hair and pulled him back into his seat, telling him repeatedly that he was going to knock him out. The UK friend was trying to intervene, and the two other young men were begging the older man to switch seats so they could deescalate the situation.
One threat after another was thrown, including one about breaking a man’s eye socket and next thing you know, I look over at my friend Tim and we both nod in appreciation that we have our phones ready to go. I have never truly witnessed a Karen in the wild, or anything that could remotely go viral, but I honestly thought this was my moment. Suddenly, the leather jacket wearing man has the younger guy in a headlock and I’m internally screaming “let’s fucking go!” Some pushing and shoving continues, with hoodie guy’s friend trying to help separate them, along with the other man’s two companions. Harley guy winds back and delivers one of the most disappointing elbows to the face ever thrown, and sadly, my viral moment had disappeared so quickly it was as if Thanos snapped his fingers.
The physical tussle started right after former champion Michelle McCool entered the match at number 10 and was all over by the time Sonia Deville was revealed at number 11. Tim took it upon himself to go seek out security before the barely-physical altercation took place. We both had the same thought that this was our first Royal Rumble to witness in person, and didn’t want some random jackass ruining it for us. Eventually, after the ruckus took place, someone’s grandmother who was cosplaying as a security guard came down to our section with an older gentleman and just stood there surveying the situation and then just left.
I was glad that cooler heads prevailed, but also disappointed that I didn’t get my WorldStar moment. What was even worse was that the two combatants ended up kissing and making up during the match and became besties. Say it with me folks, “what in the actual fuck?” The man who was on the side of justice and righteousness even went to buy his foe a beer.
Once the shock and disappointment dissipated, we set back to watch the rest of the match. There were numerous surprise entrants as there always is in the Rumble match. WWE Hall of Fame members Lita, Ivory, the Bella Twins, and Mighty Molly had their numbers called as well as surprise entrants Alicia Fox, Sarah Logan, and Cameron. The final surprise member of the match is also the one that set off the fireworks in my section again.
Once the first notes of Joan Jett’s “Bad Reputation” hit the nearly 45,000 in attendance lost their collective minds. Everyone knew that the ‘Baddest Woman on the Planet’ Ronda Rousey had returned to the WWE. The newly crowned BFFs in front of me and their cronies jumped from their seats and proceeded to throw their drinks in the air and hurled their beer bottles across the rows in front of them. I somehow avoided getting wet, but Tim and my two other friends were not so lucky, as were many people in front of them.
Two men in the rows in front of the schmucks confronted them, and I, once again, was ready to scream “WORLDSTAR!” I could not tell what was said between the two groups, but sadly my scream turned into a whisper as nothing ever happened. I told Tim I would go with him to talk to some non-dress-up security guards because I really thought things could get out of hand at some point since we are only an hour and a half into a 5-hour show.
We made our way to customer service, filed a report with them, and were told someone would be down there to deal with the situation. We return to our seats just in time to see Rousey toss Charlotte Flair over the top rope and cement her main event spot at WrestleMania. We waited for security to come, but by this time, the WrestleMania sign that the winner is directed to point at catches on fire. Yes, the WrestleMania sign caught on fire and all security and event staff appeared to be directed to deal with that, leaving me and Tim looking at each other shrugging our shoulders in disbelief.
What I genuinely thought was going to be a fun, viral moment turned into the worst match in the Royal Rumble history. The ‘match’ was lackluster and the ‘security’ was a joke. The only enjoyable moment was the sign catching on fire and watching a whole section of fans flee their seats in fear.
If you are ever in a situation at an event and you find yourself by a guy being a complete neanderthal, please live up to your threats of breaking their eye socket, because you never know when an attention-seeking guy with a camera is nearby.
Steven McCash is the Lead Music Writer and Utility Man for SoBros Network. Steven is the host of the ‘Drinking With…’ podcast, and the pioneer of New Music Friday, highlighting each week’s new releases in the world of music in addition to the occasional live show review. He also pitches in as a Nashville lifestyle writer and football analyst (hence the ‘Utility Man’ title). Follow on Twitter: @MC_Cash75
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