I know it’s been a long, long time since I’ve been out of the game. The game that I’m referring to, of course, is acting wild and rambunctious in the middle of the streets. And, maybe I was never really that wild and rambunctious because about the worst we could do as teenagers was streak through the neighborhood and jump out in front of cars as they came by. I’m not trying to give anyone any ideas, but one time, one of our friends took a dump in the middle of the road in the middle of the night, and I can’t remember the last time I felt that alive. Anyway, the point I’m trying to get to is that I don’t know where and when we upped the shenanigans from playful and annoying to downright dangerous and breathtaking. But, here we are in the year 2022 and folks are yeeting Teslas into the fucking sky.
My boy had a Tesla rally last night. I was supposed to co-host. Glad I didn’t go. I’m old and washed now. These kids today are wild pic.twitter.com/JJWhrP5NO5
— BEN BALLER™ (@BENBALLER) March 20, 2022
It’s the gasp for me, y’all. In that moment, whoever was holding that phone saw that car get about six feet of air between it and the ground and the thought crossed their mind that shit was actually not okay. It was that type of gasp that usually precedes “call an ambulance.” The scariest part, for me, would’ve been seeing the distance that thing got. It almost didn’t stop going – like, the further that thing traveled in the air, the more space was created between the car and the ground. That could’ve been UGLY ugly. A few feet off the ground? No big deal if you come back down right away. But, there was just too much yeet behind that thing as it took off.
Had it traveled much further, the thing would’ve flipped over and we wouldn’t be talking about a funny little viral video. Instead, we’re wondering why the hell people have taken the shenanigans to such extremes, and listening to what can only be described as a bull in a china shop clunking down the hill. I know I will never question the power of a Tesla engine again after seeing this video. Put wings on that sumbitch and it’ll fly across the ocean.
By the way, I saw that in one of the seemingly million threads featuring this video, the local police are looking for the people that did this. You’ve got some real ride or dies on that street because it sounded like there were plenty of people in attendance for this, and anyone in that neighborhood could’ve looked out and reported it, but no one did.
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network, and a Dogs Playing Poker on velvet connoisseur. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD, #BeBetter, and ‘Minds right, asses tight.’ “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, Yankee Candle, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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