This might surprise some people since my name is literally “Stoney,” but I’ve never been a drugs guy. I don’t judge those who partake, I’ve just never really had the urge myself. So, more power to y’all, but I’m fine with my gin and scotch and beer and wine and vodka and whiskey and tequila and bourbon and port. I realize that this may disqualify me from advising folks on how to hide drugs from the police, but I think we’ve got a pretty cut and dry case on our hands. A man got pulled over for a routine traffic stop in West Virginia and he literally just handed the officer the meth. Right there. Right then. Just like that.
Officers spoke with the vehicle’s driver, Roy Porter, 57, who handed officers a packet that they thought was the registration of the vehicle, however, a small plastic bag fell out, officers said. Inside the bag, were “a couple pieces of crystal-like substance,” and officers led a K9 unit around the area of the vehicle to perform a free-air sniff which resulted in a positive indication, according to the complaint.
So close, buddy. So damn close. You just know this guy was trembling in his car as the officer approached. Just repeating to himself “don’t hand him the meth,” “don’t hand him the meth,” “don’t hand him the meth.” And, then the first thing he does is hand the police officer his meth. Tough scene. We’ve all been there. It’s like Austin Powers and the mole. You don’t want to talk about it and the next thing you know, you’re screaming “MOLEY MOLEY MOLE.” Shit happens.
I mean, yeah – it’s a little more serious when the slip-up is literally handing meth to a police officer, but “same energy” and what have you. You gotta know in that moment that you have just fucked up. Now, instead of just being rude to someone and pointing out their disgusting mole, you’re literally going to go to jail for a long time. Let this be a lesson, folks – if you’re going to hide your meth, you’re going to face some severe consequences if the hiding spot you choose is directly in the hands of a police officer.
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network, and a Dogs Playing Poker on velvet connoisseur. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD, #BeBetter, and ‘Minds right, asses tight.’ “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, Yankee Candle, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
Check out the SoBros Shop. Become a Patron. Give us money for no reason. Like us on Facebook. Follow us on Twitter @SoBrosNetwork. Watch on YouTube.
