Ah, yes – the stadium brawl. One of the things we realized we took for granted during the covid-19 pandemic. We didn’t even know how bad we’d miss them until they came back a year ago. That’s why I’ll always stop to smell the roses when I see a good fight in the stands. Well, I should correct myself…I don’t think anyone wants to see a good fight in the crowd at a baseball game. Usually, the worse it is, the more entertaining it is. That’s the case with this instant classic from Wrigley Field. I don’t even know that a single punch was thrown in this clip, but it is simply pure chaos, and I am here for it.
The bleachers at Wrigley are getting out of control pic.twitter.com/3yJdVbNX48
— Baseball Fight Club (@mlb_fights) May 4, 2022
First of all, I have no idea what is happening here. This could’ve been a fist fight. It could’ve been porn. I’m not really sure what kind of fighting that was – that’s what I’m trying to say here. We make it like two seconds into the clip before we get our first beer gut and butt crack exposure. Then, out of nowhere, we have the “grab his dick and twist it” guy reviving that viral clip and bringing it to Wrigley Field. A+ grade for that move.
I really thought at one point, homeboy was trying to cram his fist literally into the mouth of his opponent. That would’ve been an all-time power move. Fuck swinging hands – put a fist down someone’s throat and tell me how demoralizing that is! I might have to revisit my list of the most degrading and dehumanizing things that can happen to you in a physical conflict and add “have a fist run down your gullet” to it. For now, having a drink thrown on you and being open-hand slapped remain king.
It looks like security arrives to break up the fight, but then they just kind of stand there looking over dude who was just about to have a fist down his throat. The guys who were “fighting” continue just lying on top of one another, and I’m still not convinced that this WON’T turn into a porno at some point.
Another guy steps in only to get shoved in the mouth. The one punch I’ve seen actually thrown in this “fight” looked like it arrived in slow motion. Homie has to be faded at this point, but that punch isn’t going to cut it.
This is when “he’s my ride home” guy comes into the fold. Buddy. You have made some life decisions, I’ll say that. This guy that was supposed to be your ride home can’t even stand up, and I’m not sure he knows what planet he’s on. I love this video for so many reasons, but I think “grab his dick and twist it” guy is my MVP from this fight. This actually doesn’t look the slightest bit scary. Like, everyone was just laughing and having a good time watching this fight. Makes me wish I was there! Serious FOMO on this blog today.
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network, and a Dogs Playing Poker on velvet connoisseur. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD, #BeBetter, and ‘Minds right, asses tight.’ “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, Yankee Candle, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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