It is officially Lake Season…or Pool Season…or Beach Season – however you want to celebrate bodies of water, this is the time to do it. You get my point. It’s time to get wet – especially if you’re in our neck of the woods here in Nashville, Tennessee, where the temperature has been approximately the same degrees as Satan’s anus….Sanus, if you will. And, let’s face it. We all know that one of the best ways to beat the summer heat is with a good old fashioned water slide. I have to admit that it’s one of the things I miss the most about not being 280 pounds, but that’s neither here nor there. Even as long as it’s been since I’ve gone down a water slide, I don’t think I’d forget how to use altogether, y’know? Seems like that’s one of those things that is pretty straightforward, and yet somehow, in the clip I’m about to share with you guys on this fine Friday afternoon, our man here completely butchers the water slide experience at a fucking catastrophic level.
@twayne300 ♬ Nasty Freestyle Part 2 – T-wayne
What is this? An episode of Jackass? Holy shit. I mean, this thing was doomed from the jump…the literal jump. You gotta walk around and go UNDER that thing, buddy. Instead, he just launches himself over the top of that netting, and we’re off to the races at that point. I don’t know if he was trying to do a neat trick and land on his feet or what, but the laws of physics absolutely torqued his body. This looked like as close to an explosion as you could imagine. And, as bad as it looked, you’re still thinking, “well, he’ll land in the pool at the bottom of the slide,” right? WRONG! This guy bounces around the pool, lands flat on his back and slides about 15 feet before coming to a rest. Unbelievable.
Also, as someone pointed out in the comments, that’s nice of that kid to finally come check on the guy to make sure he’s okay. Whoever was filming this sure didn’t give a damn. Maybe they saw this coming and realized they could go viral if they caught this on camera. If that’s the case, then congration you done it. But, if not, well, maybe next time you could put the phone down to go check on the poor guy.
I don’t know – the more I watch this, the wilder it gets, and the more fun it looks. Maybe I’ll try this this summer. Stay tuned.
PS. The fact that Tik Tok allows embeds (at least for the moment) opens up an entirely new world for my shitposting. Can’t wait to see where this new opportunity takes us all.
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network, and a Dogs Playing Poker on velvet connoisseur. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD, #BeBetter, and ‘Minds right, asses tight.’ “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, Yankee Candle, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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