Give Aaron Rodgers His Third Straight MVP Title Already

Aaron Rodgers is about to go Cameron Poe on the NFL this season.

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Man, it’s the best time of the year. Training camp is firing up all around the NFL, and up in Green Bay, the MVP has arrived for work. Quarterback Aaron Rodgers is coming off of back-to-back MVP campaigns, and from the look of how he showed up this morning, he means business. If you’re a fan of the Green Bay Packers…or, I guess if you’re just a degenerate sports bettor like me…it might be time to place those Packers Super Bowl bets, baby. ‘Cause you don’t walk around like this unless you’re ready for a street fight. This shit is Roadhouse to Aaron Rodgers. He’s telling us he’s about to get his hands dirty if that’s what it takes. Yes, I’m insinuating that Rodgers is going to murder people. To me, in my philosophical mind, I think that’s the logical thing to take away from this clip that’s going viral on the Twitter machine today.

We really need some old 80s rock dubbed over this video – I know things cost money, but money isn’t real if you’re a franchise in the NFL. The Packers could’ve totally shelled out what it took to lay “Rock You Like a Hurricane” Over this bad boy. Otherwise, what’s the point of even doing it? You’re going to make me do that work on my own? Oh well – I guess it’s better than not sharing the video at all.

But, this is just pure sex. I hate to say it so bluntly, folks. But, this is clearly a man with enough sexual energy to fuel 10 orgies on any given Tuesday night. That’s what we’re dealing with here, and quite frankly, I respect it. I can appreciate this look so much that I’ve actually come full circle on Aaron Rodgers. I thought he was the best quarterback in the league and loved to watch him play. Then, I thought he had gone a little batshit crazy and was insinuating some wild things. But now that covid is over with since all of the cases are going down (this is satire – my tongue’s firmly planted in my cheek, Google. Please don’t penalize me for typing that), and now that I’m seeing the energy that this man is bringing to the game this season, I think I’m back in on Aaron Rodgers.

If this clip doesn’t say “I’m going back-to-back-to-back with the MVP title,” then I don’t know what will. Personally, I’m calling up my bookie right now and I’m betting the house on Rodger winning another MVP award. Just please don’t tell my wife I’m doing this. I will sell a kidney if I have to, but I really don’t want to.

Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network, and a Dogs Playing Poker on velvet connoisseur. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD, #BeBetter, and ‘Minds right, asses tight.’ “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, Yankee Candle, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley

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