The future is now, folks. Every day we inch closer and closer to the dawn of a new era…one more technologically savvy than ever before. Personally, I’m a fan of it – I long for the day when our wildest dreams can come true in the form of new technology. Like this video we’re going to look at today – I can’t tell you how many times I’ve just been chilling at home and thought to myself, “damn, Stoney – wouldn’t it be cool if you had a real life Green Goblin glider that you could zip around the neighborhood in?”
Think about it – we’re so consumed by the concept of driverless cars that we neglect the real world applications that a Green Goblin glider could be used for. What’s more fun – hopping in a big box and riding down to the grocery store? Or, hopping on your Green Goblin glider and whizzing across the night sky to Wal-Mart? You really wouldn’t have to worry about traffic if you could travel as the crow flies, which is much more efficient, and that’s what the future is all about – efficiency.
I know what the criticism of this is going to be – “Stoney, look at what that glider did to Norman Osborn. We can’t risk having that happen to someone today!” To that I would say that we can’t halt progress because of something that happened years ago. Just because it happened once doesn’t mean it would happen to everyone. I know the whole ‘history is doomed to repeat itself in an endless and meaningless loop’ saying…but just because history has repeated itself, it doesn’t mean that it’s going to. We can’t let that keep us from future innovations.
All of this is to say that’s why I think it’s important that we spend more of our resources in developing a usable Green Goblin glider, so that we don’t have guys like this out there trying to do it on their own with no help whatsoever. Even with the limited resources this person possesses, we are oh so close to having real gliders in real households.
Starting an XPRIZE to make a functioning version of this so I can finally play in the NBA
— Peter H. Diamandis, MD (@PeterDiamandis) July 19, 2022
pic.twitter.com/hqjizoobHc
You know….I’m no engineer, but I would think that the first thing you’d do on a design like this is cook up some way to protect the blades that are spinning and lifting this thing up into the sky. If you don’t do that, then it seems like anything as soft as a Nerf basketball could disrupt the whole thing. I mean, you hit a big bug riding around on that thing and it’s going to bring you down. You could theoretically add a warning – like, “don’t fly this thing higher than six feet off the ground,” but no one would listen.
Why? Because it’s not fun. And, that’s what the future is all about – fun. No one is going to care about the warning label. They’re going to shoot this thing right up to the sun as soon as they possibly can.
I do like the idea of using this to play basketball, though. It could really level the playing field for those of us who were born below seven feet tall. I always wanted a crack at the NBA but didn’t have the physical gifts to do so. Well, maybe with my Green Goblin glider, I could be going toe to toe with LeBron in no time. I can’t wait ’til I have one of these bad boys sitting in my driveway!
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network, and a Dogs Playing Poker on velvet connoisseur. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD, #BeBetter, and ‘Minds right, asses tight.’ “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, Yankee Candle, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
Check out the SoBros Shop. Become a Patron. Give us money for no reason. Like us on Facebook. Follow us on Twitter @SoBrosNetwork. Watch on YouTube.