Some of you might already know this about me, but I’ll share it for the rest of the room. I could probably count the number of movies I’ve seen that were made before the year 2001 on both hands. No real reason for it – I just wasn’t a big movie kid growing up. I didn’t really start watching movies until I was in high school and we started going to the mall every Friday night. For some reason, there’s a contingent of the SoBros Network team and fan base that really want me to watch some of the classics of yesteryear. So, I figured I’d do that and document the experiences of seeing some of these classics for the first time in the year 2022. Today, we’re watching National Lampoon’s Animal House from 1978. These are my notes.
Stoney Sees: National Lampoon’s Animal House
Patreon subscribers, I come to you today as a disappointed man in complete disbelief of the time I just wasted watching this movie. My apologies for being so blunt and so harsh right out of the gate, but there’s no way to sugarcoat this and I wouldn’t want to anyway for y’all. For what I am writing today may seem blasphemous given this film’s vaunted reputation among the history of comedy at the cinema. If you cannot tolerate slander of the Animal House name, then now is your last chance to bow out of this review.
‘Cause boy, did this movie suck.
And, listen – if you’ve been with me long enough here on Patreon, you should already know that not only do I love mindless comedy, I’d say I have a passion for it. But, the humor in Animal House just doesn’t land for me. It’s mindless in the easy way – cheap jokes for cheap laughs. It’s not mindless in a creative way (like Anchorman or Dumb and Dumber).
I know I’m going to sound like a complete hardo for this review, too. I willingly accept that…so with that in mind, what I’m about to type might seem a little silly in the context of this movie. But, where was the story? If there was a story in this movie at all, it was flimsy at best. I like at least a little depth to break up the monotony of a comedy. Instead, Animal House just bashes you over the head with the same juvenile comedy until your eyes bleed.
Maybe it’s a generational thing, I don’t know. But, if that’s the case, I’ll take my Old School over your Animal House any day of the week. Now, let’s get onto my raw notes – what follows is just an unfiltered series of thoughts that crossed my mind while watching this “film.”
Notes
*The Delta house looks like a veritable sausage party. I mean, I went to my fair share of frat houses back in the day, and I know there were some off nights, but I fully expected this movie to be pure sex, full tilt, from the jump, based on its reputation.
*Man, I want a bar with fish bowl titties in my house.
*That is a comically large dildo – do they really make them that big? I am not a dildo collector.
*SEX ROOMS
*John Belushi’s fashion is impeccable
*Oh, so this is where “thank you sir may I have another” came from? Spanking Kevin Bacon? I never would’ve guessed that.
*Wow – this cast – Donald Sutherland?
*Man, I’ll say – this movie does take me back to the college days when we were trying to be shaped into decent men, but everyone was just too fucking horny to function.
*I don’t know why I think this movie is just about sex, but I’m fully expecting this horse to fuck this guy in the stall.
*Okay, feeding a horse a carrot out of your mouth is hilarious.
*Is that all this movie is? Just pranks and stupid shit?
*I’m really digging this soundtrack, though
*That’s a 4th wall break with some titties.
*I kinda like the aesthetic of this movie with the leaves on the ground. My goodness – is Animal House a fall movie???
*recruiting MILFs at the grocery store – bold strategy.
*I vaguely remember the toga party scene.
*Oh we’re taking jabs at the guy that played guitar at parties, huh?
*Boy, how outright problematic is the black night club scene?
*I’m pretty sure what these boys did to this parade would be considered a terrorist attack.
In Summary
Listen – I don’t like to be that critic that talks down to people. If this is your thing, wear yourself out. But, for me, John Belushi’s fashion and all the titties are about where my compliments for this one ends. It just felt like more of a series of gags than a film. My official star rating: 1.8792/10.
Stoney Sees Archives
- Forrest Gump (6.42/10)
- Halloween (9.26/10)
- High Fidelity (3.46/10)
- National Lampoon’s Animal House (1.8792/10)
- Street Fighter (2/10)
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network, and a Dogs Playing Poker on velvet connoisseur. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD, #BeBetter, and ‘Minds right, asses tight.’ “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, Yankee Candle, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
Check out the SoBros Shop. Become a Patron. Give us money for no reason. Like us on Facebook. Follow us on Twitter @SoBrosNetwork. Watch on YouTube.
