Let’s face it – every day we are routinely bombarded with questions. When you’re an emerging media company in Nashville, people just want to know what your opinions are on everything. It’s only natural. And, since our duty is to serve the people, well, we have no choice but to be present. That’s the SoBro Way. Also, aren’t mailbags just a barrel of laughs anyway? Welcome to the newest weekly recurring feature up in this bitch: The SoBros Mailbag. As always, hit us with those mailbag questions @SoBrosNetwork on Twitter, email ’em to me anonymously at thesobrosnetwork@gmail.com. And, holy shit, I need to update this terrible intro paragraph that I’ve been using literally ever since I started writing this column…
Question:
If you could have any sitcom parents as your own who would it be?
— McCash (@MC_Cash75) June 30, 2022
Me: Amy and Alan Matthews from Boy Meets World
Answer:
You know, I’d probably say just give me Danny Tanner and I’m good with it. That’s probably the answer I would’ve gone with for the bulk of my 36 years on this planet. I was a huge Full House fan – really, I just wanted to live in their house. Lots of cool stairs. But, there’s apart of me today that just thinks “fuck it – give me Herman and Lily.” I think I could vibe with The Munsters.
Question:
Give a safe pick and an off the wall pick for the next Bond actor.
— brett (@thebrettclark) June 30, 2022
Answer:
I hate to be bland, because this name has come up a million times in every clickbait article written about the next Bond, but the safe choice, to me, is Idris Elba. He’s long been rumored to be the next Bond, and we all know he’d crush it. It’s easy – super easy. I don’t know how truly off-the-wall this is, but I haven’t seen anyone really throw this name into the ring, so I’m counting it as my off-the-wall pick, but how about Dev Patel? Fantastic actor that, after all of this time since Slumdog Millionaire, deserves to land a big, iconic role in cinema history.
Question:
@SoBrosNetwork This is for your mailbag 7/1: Seeing that Alien Ant Farm is trending, which version of Smooth Criminal is better?
— Armchair Prude (Joshua Huffman) (@armchairprude) June 29, 2022
Answer:
Man, it’s the Alien Ant Farm version to me, and it’s not even close. I love the way that track grooves – the way their guitars are tuned, the palm-muting, the dueling vocals in the chorus, the way that snare drum pops, and homeboy’s vocals are on point. And yes, I would’ve said this even if we didn’t cancel Michael Jackson for being a creep. But, it brings up a larger point I’d like to make – Alien Ant Farm was totally underrated in that early 2000s nu metal conversation. That whole album was fire, and as much as I wore out “Smooth Criminal,” I don’t even think it’s my favorite song of theirs. I still think I go “Movies.” I think if anyone reading this hasn’t jammed out to that album, today’s the day to give it a spin.
Keep the questions coming – catch y’all next week!
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network, and a Dogs Playing Poker on velvet connoisseur. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD, #BeBetter, and ‘Minds right, asses tight.’ “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, Yankee Candle, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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