Some of you might already know this about me, but I’ll share it for the rest of the room. I could probably count the number of movies I’ve seen that were made before the year 2001 on both hands. No real reason for it – I just wasn’t a big movie kid growing up. I didn’t really start watching movies until I was in high school and we started going to the mall every Friday night. For some reason, there’s a contingent of the SoBros Network team and fan base that really want me to watch some of the classics of yesteryear. So, I figured I’d do that and document the experiences of seeing some of these classics for the first time in the year 2022. Today, we’re watching the Jack Nicholson, Michelle Pfeiffer, and James Spader take on the wolf man, Wolf, from 1994. These are my notes.
So, I’m scrolling through Tubi, as one does, and I come across a little movie called Wolf. Made in 1994, it stars Jack Nicholson, Michelle Pfeiffer, and James Spader. I think, “man, Jack looks like a werewolf on the poster,” and sure enough….it’s a fucking werewolf movie. How on Earth did this happen? When did they do a modern Jack Nicholson take on the wolf man story? Why and how does this movie even exist?
I was so intrigued that I had to press play. Some actors have an aura that you don’t want to be ruined so I was cautious about watching this because Jack is one of those actors. But, he’s a werewolf? How could I not?
This movie is so simple and on-the-nose that it hurts. The premise is simple – Jack is some sort of editor/publisher and he’s driving through Vermont on a dark, snowy night when a wolf jumps out in front of his car. He gets out and ends up being bitten by the beast.
He goes back to his life in the big city when he learns his job is being given to James Spader’s fine skinny ass. There’s some tension between the two colleagues, but it’s clear they were bros at one point. There’s some betrayal involved as James Spader lays the pipe to Jack’s wife. As Jack starts to realize something is up, he sweats….a lot.
Eventually, he embraces the wolf within, gets a little revenge, and it all builds up to a wild ass climax and a twist ending that you will absolutely see coming from a mile away.
But, honestly – I wanted to shit on this movie more. I didn’t hate it. It was perfect 1990s era campy straightforward brain rot. I kind of loved it in a throwback way similar to how you love Muppet movies, y’know? Anyway, here are my UNFILTERED notes on the film that I took down as I watched it. Check out Wolf and let me know what you think.
Stoney Sees: Wolf (1994)
- I guess there are no wolves in Vermont?
- I can relate to Jack’s relentless sweating here, for sure.
- How about the state of that ass!?
- I’ll tell ya what – 1994 James Spader had his fastball.
- Why is Michelle Pfeiffer so cool with this man she hardly knows and who is very clearly having a medical episode at her house?
- Man, this is comical – this dude is running a deer down in the forest. GAHDAMN HE JUST MICK FOLEYED OFF THE HELL IN A CELL TO EAT THIS DEER. “Guess I’ll just sleep on these rocks now”
- I like how he’s just kind of a werewolf….like he’s enough of a werewolf to feast on a deer, but he’s still got on his khakis.
- Oh shit, this man wants Jack to BITE HIM!?
- I kinda love this, though – it’s like part wolf man, but we’re in the big city. I don’t know…it feels like something I would write for SoBros Short Fiction.
- This mf is jumping 20 feet in the air in a suit.
- IS THAT DAVID SCHWIMMER?! He’s A COP!?!
- Classic “guys try to mug him not knowing his powers” scene – gotta work that in.
- Hell yeah – we’re just PISSIN on people now – he took a leak on James Spader’s suede shoes, mf want some come get some.
- Bitch you fucked James Spader, you don’t get to come back to this man! Especially now that Jack’s a WOLF!
- This man literally told Michelle Pfeiffer he’s becoming a wolf and she’s into it. Now, he’s all handcuffed and shit and she’s unbuttoning his shirt. I bet she knows and she’s a werewolf, too.
- What business does this movie have being over two hours long?
- Oh wait, Wolf Jack actually loves her?
- Oh James Spader is a werewolf now too? Damn this is about to be like covid. Everyone in New York City is about to be a werewolf, and then what?
- This rat fuck James Spader is about to try and sell out Jack Nicholson, isn’t he?
- Damn, did that kill scene with the guard have to go that hard? They dragged his ass like a dummy for 20 feet.
- How did James Spader get MORE handsome as a werewolf?
- *every jump in this movie looks like a guy just jumped off of a trampoline that was just outside the camera frame.
- They are just biting each other’s skulls in this fight – I love the energy.
- LMAO at how James Spader’s body just bounced off the stairs.
- I KNEW IT! I KNEW SHE’D END UP BEING A WEREWOLF!
All in all, this is probably the weirdest movie I’ve reviewed yet for Stoney Sees, but I kind of love of how campy at on-the-nose it is. I think this could be an underrated Spooky Season movie. My star rating: 5.37/10.
Stoney Sees Archives
- Forrest Gump (8.79/10)
- Halloween (9.26/10)
- High Fidelity (3.46/10)
- Street Fighter (2/10)
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network, and a Dogs Playing Poker on velvet connoisseur. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD, #BeBetter, and ‘Minds right, asses tight.’ “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, Yankee Candle, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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