Someone Needs to Ask Demone Harris Why He’s Pullin’ Pants Down

We got some NPF cheeks in yesterday's win over the Texans.

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The Tennessee Titans absolutely rocked the Houston Texans yesterday in the most lopsided 17-10 game I’ve ever seen. Derrick Henry once again feasted on the Texans porous run defense. Jeffery Simmons and that defensive front stonewalled the Texans offense. It was disgusting football – don’t let that garbage time Texans touchdown fool you. But, lost in the shuffle of all the action was that Texans defender Demone Harris ran up behind Nicholas Petit-Frere in the melee and decided to expose about 20% of NPF’s bare ass. Thankfully, eagle-eyed journalist Austin Huff of The Titan Up Podcast, of A to Z Sports Nashville caught the incident and shared the clip on Twitter. This could be what earns him his Pulitzer.

Listen, I’m usually a pretty strong proponent of “do whatever it takes to win.” I’m all for getting any competitive advantage you possibly can. Contrary to popular belief, I never played in the NFL. But, I know through tales and legend that some real shit goes down at the bottom of a pile in the NFL. People pokin’ eyes. Guys crankin’ rods. Squeezin’ nuts. I’m pretty sure the “grab his dick and twist it” guy got his start watching NFL dogpiles. That type of scene. So, I’m not going to hold this against Harris. But, I need to know why. I need to know what tactical advantage pulling another player’s pants down gives someone. I need to know what is going on in your brain when you decide to run behind another player and just pants him in front of the world.

Maybe his hands just got away from him – one of those weird mental lapses we all have when we snap out of the zone and think, “wtf was I just doing?” Like, Harris didn’t know what else to do when he got there…he couldn’t tackle him…so, he was like “I gotta do something here.” Maybe he was just playin’ a little “gotcha” there. Maybe he was just stealin’ a quick peek while no one was looking. Maybe he’s just giggling the whole ride home thinking about how funny he was because he’s such a prankster. He’s going to get home and tell his boys, “listen, you won’t believe this, but I pulled some guy’s cheeks out in the game,” and they’ll all laugh uproariously. I don’t know.

If there’s a distinct advantage to be had here, I just want to know. Not only will it inform my coverage of American tackle football, but maybe I can utilize this strategy in my everyday life. Line too long down at the Kroger? Well, I’ll just pull someone’s pants down and take their spot in line. That sort of thing. My point here is that some brave journalist needs to ask the question this week.

Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network, and a Dogs Playing Poker on velvet connoisseur. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD, #BeBetter, and ‘Minds right, asses tight.’ “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, Yankee Candle, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley.

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