Twitter Offering Paid Verification Is Pretty Damn Dumb

You might be able to pay to get that blue checkmark in the future.

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I know times are wild at Twitter HQ right now with Elon Musk buying the platform and getting right to work on shaking things up. That’s a massive undersell, I know, but listen – I’m just trying to get into the meat of what I’m here to talk about as quickly as possible. We don’t have time to go into all of those details on a blog that is designed to help entertain you in short enough form to consume while you’re taking a dump. This piece from The Verge outlines how Musk is planning to start charging for verification through an upgraded Twitter Blue account. What is Twitter Blue? Your guess is as good as mine. I had no idea people were already paying for “premium” features on Twitter. Anyway, the idea of giving Twitter money in exchange for a blue checkmark sounds really fucking dumb to me on the surface.

Doesn’t that kind of defeat the purpose of the blue checkmark to begin with? Isn’t that thing supposed to signify that an account belongs to a reputable person or brand of interest so that we can trust it as a source of news and information? Am I naive for believing that to be true? If anyone can just pay to get verified, then doesn’t that open a pathway for dumb bullshit to be trusted as news? How could users possibly look at this as a good thing for the integrity of the platform? Or, is that just where we are with Twitter now?

I have no doubt that this could be an effective revenue stream for Twitter. There are plenty of people out there who would probably pay for blue checkmark. Clout-chasing, spotlight-craving creators and mouthpieces from all walks of life, I’m sure. Lort knows I can think of a few who will probably be beating down the door to get verified as soon as they can give Musk their $20/month. I’ll take mine the old fashioned way, by earning it because you guys actually give a shit about my work.

Who the fuck wants to pay for Twitter anyway? Is this the future we’re heading towards? Because if so, I have news for Mr. Musk…that’s a surefire way to kill the platform that a lot of advertisers are already looking at as dead anyway. It probably seems dumb to come out and publicly criticize this decision given how much of my life I live on Twitter, but oh well – no one clicks our links on Twitter anyway. Now, on a more serious note, if I disappear after this is published, you guys know where to start looking…

Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network, and a Dogs Playing Poker on velvet connoisseur. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD, #BeBetter, and ‘Minds right, asses tight.’ “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, Yankee Candle, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley.

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