Alright, folks – we’ve got a Patreon preview for you here today. After sitting on this one for a couple of years now, I’ve decided to release it publicly on the blog as a taste of what you can expect from the rest of the ‘SoBros Short Fiction’ series on Patreon. I wrote this one as the crippling fear of the covid pandemic was beginning to subside a bit in the fall of 2020. I submitted it to a couple of online publications and contests, and while I didn’t get any bites, I did get an encouraging email saying “please submit more of your stuff.” So, is it my best? I don’t know. But, it’s certainly one of my favorites. Enjoy.
SoBros Short Fiction: Testing
“My test just came back. Negative – no covid here, boys” Ryan said as he strolled up to his neighbor James’ garage, equal parts relieved and eager to get back to the routine. James slugged him on the shoulder, “hell yeah, man! Come have a few. Greg was just talkin’ about some toothless chick that sucked him off in the Thirsty Turtle parking lot in 2007.” Greg, not entirely amused, grinned – “happy to hear it, Ryan – you gonna be able to get right back to work?” “Not too sure,” Ryan replied, “but that’s a problem for tomorrow.” A loud clank rang throughout the garage in Hermitage, Tennessee, with three Budweisers to blame.
The spread of COVID-19 was hitting its peak here in Nashville in February of 2021, and thousands of conversations just like this one were being had all across the city. Some were fortunate to dodge the virus. A select few were even more fortunate to find work delivering rations to families and supplies to those in need. Entire neighborhoods were placed under lockdown, fences erected and patrolled vigilantly to make sure citizens stayed put. Ryan recently had to travel downtown to secure the latest supply of groceries for his block – that meant an automatic test before he could rejoin his family.
Others weren’t so lucky. Virus aside, the strain of tighter lockdowns and the legitimate threat of violence against non-compliance turned Nashville into a pressure cooker. Rioting and looting was a regular occurrence in neighborhoods that didn’t have the resources to take care of everyone. It looked like the backdrop for a post-apocalyptic survival story.
We thought we had successfully navigated the onslaught of the virus, but when the cold winds of winter came, it brought with it contagion that was a hundred times worse than that first wave. The failures of our leaders to take the outbreak seriously cost us thousands of innocent lives. We had a chance to beat it, but we failed because we thought we were out of the woods. We missed the window, and because of that, everyone was paying for it.
Field hospitals were set up in Walmart parking lots. Police, looking more and more like a military force, patrolled the streets at all hours of the day, enforcing strict curfews and lockdowns with the use of force if necessary. This was society on the brink.
Ryan, Greg, and James were among the fortunate ones. All in their 30s, all with a wife and kid at home, all able-bodied men who in some ways, seemed tailor made for a world such as this. Ryan was a runner, making sure the families and not-so-able-bodied people on his block had the food and supplies they needed to live. Greg, a bear of a man at 6’4″ and 285 pounds of solid muscle, patrolled the parameter from 11PM-5AM. James, lean and shaggy-headed, took over for Greg and held watch until 11AM. Most afternoons were spent in James’ garage, downing Buds and wondering when the next time they could venture out to Mount Juliet for some Hurts Hot Chicken would come. Even in the apocalypse, there were still guys being dudes. But, that friendship was the glue that kept things together for these men.
Ryan was cleared to return to work a couple of days after his negative results came through, just in time for testing day. Routine testing was apart of daily life now. On neighborhood testing days, the guys banded together as chaperones of sort. Helping to bus folks to the nearest testing facility at the Hermitage Library, and bringing them back home to continue waiting on a vaccine, or waiting for the fall of man – whichever came first.
If you never left the block, you were lumped in with everyone else on test days. This time, it was Greg’s turn to get in line. When Ryan and James hopped off the bus, they nodded at Greg and sent him on his way. “Enjoy your day at the spa,” James quipped, garnering a chuckle from Greg as he walked away. No one liked having their brain probed with a q-tip, but at the very least, they could laugh about it together.
Hours passed. Ryan and James greeted their neighbors as they got back to the loading zone. They hoped there would be no positive tests – please no positive tests. They shuddered just thinking about the protocol for a positive test. James’ phone rang – he looked up at Ryan aghast. “It’s Greg – what the fuck?” James answered, “Greg – what’s up man?” He quickly jerked the phone away from his head as if his eardrum was about to burst, and Ryan could hear the frantic screaming right away. “DON’T LET THEM…” – James, looking every bit of on edge, replied, “Don’t let them what, Greg?” “DON’T LET THEM TEST YOU.”
“Greg, what’s happening to you?” James was completely thrown off. He heard a series of loud noises, grunts, and screams before Greg came through, “YOU….CAN’T…..NO IDEA WHAT THEY’RE DOING TO PEOPLE HERE. THEY’RE GOING TO KILL ME.“
James took off in a dead sprint toward the library, Ryan not far behind him. He wasn’t sure of exactly what was going on, but he was certain that his friend was in need.
They busted through the front door, and turned the corner to see Greg, this beast of a man, duking it out with four nurses who were trying to sedate him. “GREG!” James shouted as he ran towards his friend. “GET OUT OF HERE, JAMES! TELL THE WORLD!” Greg took his eye off the ball just long enough for one of the burlier nurses to wedge a syringe right into his neck.
As the big man began to fade, he cried out what would ultimately be his last words, “THEY’RE TURNING PEOPLE INTO DRONES.” He dropped to his knees and fell forward, lifeless as he hit the floor. James was shaken as the nurses turned their attention towards him. Surveying the library, he began to notice body after body, stacked high, and he felt the walls closing in on him. He had to get out and get help – this was suddenly a dire emergency. In the midst of all the chaos, James heard a click. The unforgiving feeling of cold steel on the back of his head followed. “I’m sorry, James,” said Ryan. “I’ve been programmed to terminate any human who sees this place.“
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network, and a Dogs Playing Poker on velvet connoisseur. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD, #BeBetter, and ‘Minds right, asses tight.’ “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, Yankee Candle, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley.
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