One of the great things about writing on the internet is that it gives you a platform to work out all your issues. That’s what most sane people use it for – not a therapist….let’s vent to complete strangers. Folks, that’s what I’m here to do today. I want to dive into the brain of eight-year-old me. When I look back and remember where my love for professional wrestling started, it was a random match between 1-2-3 Kid and Barry Horowitz. My dad was flipping channels on a random Sunday morning and landed on wrestling, as he was oft to do back in the early 90s. It was the first time I slowed down and paid attention to it, and I was hooked. But, when I think about who my first favorite wrestler was, I land on Doink the Clown. When I got into wrestling, my folks would take me to Mount Juliet Video & Comics on the weekend and let me rent old WrestleMania tapes. I can’t tell you how many times I watched WrestleMania IX as a kid, and I was completely immersed in that Doink-Crush match because of the double Doinks. The concept of the evil clown was fascinating to me as a kid. Yes, wrestling probably introduced me to the literary concept that, and I’m paraphrasing here, not everything that looks like a duck and quacks is actually a duck.
I was reminded of this time in my life when I saw this awesome story about how Matt Borne actually hated playing Doink the Clown because he legitimately hated entertaining children. I chuckled at it. I also asked myself, “why the fuck was Doink the Clown, of all wrestlers, your favorite wrestler as a kid, Stoney?” On the surface, I really had no idea, and since it’s probably not worth the time to hash out, I just accepted that and moved on with my life.
But, I think I should know. I think I need to know. I think it’s time to sit and have a good think about this. I think it’s a reflection of something ironclad about my personality. Even at a young age, I was fascinated by the concepts of “something more” and “all is not as it seems.” If you’ve read any of my short fiction, you can probably see that. But, I’ve spent pretty much my entire life chasing “something more” – Doink the Clown wasn’t simply a clown…he was a master of trickery, and he was EVIL! Honestly, regular ordinary life bores me…I can’t tell you how many times I was caught daydreaming in class thinking about the teacher like, “what if this man just suddenly turned into an alien?” Shit like that. So, here was a character that brought that spirit to life in a wrestling ring.
I’ve also always been fascinated by the idea that we never really know people. Like, you can get as close as you want to a person, but there’s no way you’ll ever know what is truly in their heart. In Doink, here was a clown that, by most societal measures, should be happily entertaining kids. Instead, he was a fucking menace. I gravitated towards that. I wanted to understand what made Doink the Clown tick – obviously, the deeper into the wrestling fandom you get, you realize, “ah fuck – Doink the Clown was evil because Vince McMahon needed an interesting mid-card heel.” But, these principles are reflected in Doink the Clown being my first favorite pro wrestler.
I grew bored of Doink when he turned face and just started acting like a normal clown. At that point, I think my favorite wrestler became Shawn Michaels or Diesel. I don’t quite remember. Nonetheless, I think we’ve made some progress here in unpacking what my favorite wrestlers say about my psyche. Now, I need to get to work figuring out the why behind my always chasing something more and my desire to learn who people really are.
Also, here’s a sick behind the scenes look at the moment I realized I was completely enthralled by the Doink the Clown character:
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network, and a Dogs Playing Poker on velvet connoisseur. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD, #BeBetter, and ‘Minds right, asses tight.’ “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, Yankee Candle, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley.
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