AFC South Championship: Titans vs. Jags Drinking Game

If you're a Titans fan, getting drunk might be the only way to consume this game Saturday night...

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This has undoubtedly been a torturous season for fans of the Tennessee Titans. If you’re anything like me, it has downright driven you to drinking. That’s not true, actually. I’m a lush. I never stopped drinking. Even when I had bronchitis, I had a beer. Actually, I didn’t know that I had bronchitis when I had that beer. I’m blurring the lines too much here, but you get my point. This team was playing like ass and still found a way to get to 7-3. We all knew they didn’t look like a Super Bowl contender, but we just kept saying, “man, what if they can just get healthy?

Well, what actually happened? They proceeded to drop six straight, fall out of first place in the AFC South, and now they’re in a scratch-and-claw fight to get to the playoffs. I’m not mad. I’m just disappointed.

Every now and then, we get us a nice little de facto playoff game to conclude the season. This year, that game is the AFC South Championship between the Titans and the Jacksonville Jaguars live from Jacksonville. It won’t be concluding the season because the NFL, for some reason, elected to run this game on Saturday night instead of Sunday night. But, it’s still high stakes football in Week 18 nonetheless.

No sane human being that has watched football over the course of the last month thinks the Titans have a real shot at this one. Hell, the sports books set this spread at Jags -6.5. That’s an interesting number, though…they wouldn’t go full on -7…maybe they’re baiting folks into betting Jags only to clean house when the Titans cover. I don’t know. Point is that an awful lot of people are high on this Jags team, and for good reason. After starting the season at 2-6, they’ve roared back at 6-2 to get to 8-8. Trevor Lawrence is looking like the guy they drafted him to be, and Doug Pederson is coaching his ass off. The Jags haven’t swept the Titans in a season since 2005, but that’s very much on the table Saturday night.

Now, that’s not to say the Titans don’t have a puncher’s chance. I think they do, and there’s a path for this team to get to its third straight AFC South title. Despite the fact that they’ve lost six in a row, they’ve actually been competitive in most of those games, including playing the Cincinnati Bengals and the Los Angeles Chargers down to the wire. They’re getting a bit of the cavalry back this week, and a healthy dose of Derrick Henry with a defensive front that’s going to be about as stocked as it’s been all season gives this team a chance to control the clock and play its brand of football.

As a fan, I want the Titans to win this game. You just never know what can happen in the NFL. The style this team wants to play is successful in January, and we saw them go on a run three years ago. Any given Sunday, and what have you. I’m also not confident that this franchise can actually turn a top 10 pick into a real difference-maker. What’s the real hit rate on top 10 picks and how many of them actually completely turn around a franchise (especially if they’re not a quarterback)?

My personal fan philosophy comes into play here as well – I’m going to love the Titans no matter what. They’re my team. So, if I’m going to love this team even if it sucks next year, I’d rather at least get a playoff game to see what happens this year. Why does any of this even matter? Why does anything in life matter? You tell me. Fuck it – let’s get drunk.

Take a drink if/when…

  • You hear the words “aerospace engineer”
  • You hear the words “Lions practice squad”
  • Someone reminds us that Joshua Dobbs has only been with the Titans for a couple of weeks.
  • Mike Vrabel is shown in the Vrabel pose – hands on his knees, bent over, staring at the ground.
  • The Titans register a sack.
  • Someone mentions that the Titans have lost six in a row.
  • Either coach throws the challenge flag.
  • The Titans allow a play of 20+ yards.
  • A wide receiver catches a pass for the Titans.
  • The Titans run the ball on first down.
  • Ryan Stonehouse‘s pursuit of the punting record is mentioned.
  • You hear the names ‘Ryan Tannehill‘ or ‘Malik Willis.’
  • Derrick Henry goes for 10+ yards.
  • Any Titan tips a pass or registers a PBU.
  • Someone brings up that the Titans were the #1 seed in the AFC last year.

Take a shot if/when…

  • The over hits.
  • Geoff Swaim scores a touchdown.
  • Dennis Daley allows a sack – let’s fuckin’ party, folks!!!
  • Anyone brings up Urban Meyer. Double shots if they show him fingering someone’s butthole.
  • They show another graphic of Taylor Lewan in a wheelchair.
  • The Titans actually win this thing.

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Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network, and a Dogs Playing Poker on velvet connoisseur. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD, #BeBetter, and ‘Minds right, asses tight.’ “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, Yankee Candle, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley.

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