We’ve covered the impending War on Humans here extensively on SoBros Network throughout the years, as the animals have picked their spots here and there to remind us of what they’re capable of. Maybe it’s even a reminder of what’s to come – always lurking there on the outskirts of civilization, slowly approaching, positioning themselves to take back what was once theirs and theirs alone. I’m not sure the war is on full scale just yet, but I feel like it’s coming.
The animals will eventually try to take the Earth back from humans, and I was reminded of this sad and harrowing reality yesterday when I came across a story about a family that had encountered some wild pigs in Canada. Apparently, it’s a huge thing up there! Maybe I can get Canadian Titan to confirm for us. But, it sounds like boars are roaming freely throughout the land of our neighbors up north, and they aren’t exactly friendly. Personally, I think this is an intimidation tactic. The boars are the most DGAF of all animals out there, and they can’t stoop too low when it comes to the destruction they leave in their wake.
Feral pigs can ruin natural habitats, eat crops, harass livestock and contaminate water sources. They can also carry a plethora of diseases that can spread to livestock:
First of all, this is a damn story. I mean, BRA-VO! What an excellent piece of journalism chronicling a jarring event for a family and the potentially disastrous ramifications of letting these wild pigs just march unchecked across Canada. If you have time to read a deep dive into wild boars invading Canada, I can’t recommend this piece from The Narwhal enough.
Now, imagine you’re having a nice little bonfire and when you go to the barn to get more firewood, you discover a pack of these vicious creatures. I’m most likely going to shit my pants. Thankfully, this family had the wherewithal to call the wild pig team (real thing mentioned in the story), and no one was hurt in the process. But, I learned something new reading this – that the wild pig is basically the apex invader. Not only do they tear up everything, harass everyone else, and carry disease with them, but they also trample native plants and they reproduce exponentially.
My question would be, “are they harassing livestock? Or, are they recruiting it?” But, I’m a bigger picture guy, so just wondering here. Canada could be ground zero for the organization of the animal army. I’m just saying…y’all are talking about a scientific method of population control to get these things under control. Maybe we just need to recognize that as long as there’s wild boars terrorizing bonfires, there’s a threat, and we have to do what we have to do to keep them in check. I know I like to make my stupid little jokes in my stupid little posts like this one, but I have a very serious suggestion as to how Canada can solve this problem: call Treylon Burks.
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network, and a Dogs Playing Poker on velvet connoisseur. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD, #BeBetter, and ‘Minds right, asses tight.’ “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, Yankee Candle, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley.
Subscribe to the SoBros Network Patreon here – $5/month gets you instant access to an exhaustive content library of articles, podcasts, and videos created exclusively for our subscribers! Image courtesy of Rolf Schmidbauer on Unsplash (not the pigs in this story – just some pigs that Rolf photographed).
