So, I usually call this the ‘bat shit crazy mock draft’ because I just do whatever I want in the first round with no regard to cost/benefit. The Chargers want to move up from 21 to draft Bryce Young at #1 overall? Sure, no problem – let’s mock it! We’re just having fun here, and you guys are smart sports content consumers…you know how worthless these mock drafts are anyway.
But, the truth is that this year, I just don’t think there are any players in the draft that are really worth shelling out copious amounts of draft capital to go up and get. Every time I got to the next pick, I thought “nahhhh, probably wouldn’t trade up for him.”
So, I can’t call it the ‘bat shit crazy mock draft’ this year. It’s just “the Stoney mock,” and that’s fine. It’s the only one I do all draft season, and it is based, as simply as I can put it, on what I would do if I were the GM of every team when it’s on the clock. Here’s the results.
Alright, so let’s get into the big takeaways here – I’m not going to spend 10,000 words explaining my thinking behind every single pick. Most of it is probably obvious, but of course, if you have a question about any of them, hit me up in the comments, and I’ll get to you.
*Let’s start with Anthony Richardson. This one’s simple to me – I think Bryce Young is going to be a very, very good quarterback in the NFL. I think Stroud and Levis could be good in the right circumstance. I think Richardson is the only one of the bunch that has a ceiling as high as the class of Joe Burrow, Josh Allen, Patrick Mahomes quarterbacks. That simple – I’m rolling the dice on the upside if I’m Carolina.
*I wrote on my big board that someone was going to grossly overdraft Calijah Kancey because of his traits, and that it would take the perfect spot for him to really pan out in my opinion. Hello, Detroit. Kancey needs to go somewhere with beefy defensive ends that can help out in run support. The Lions have that, and they have to beef up their defensive front. There aren’t too many defensive tackles in this draft class that have his skill set. I’m swinging for the fences if I’m Detroit.
*Bijan Robinson is an elite prospect – is he really going to tumble all the way down to the back third of the first round JUST because he’s a running back? I wouldn’t think so. He can still be a key cog in an NFL offense in 2023.
*I landed on Jaxon Smith-Njigba for the Titans strictly because of how the board fell. I would love to trade back, but I also wouldn’t trade up for anyone that was on the board at that time. The pros and cons of being every GM in the NFL for this exercise.
*If you’ve been keeping up with my big board, you know I’m stupid high on Adetomiwa Adebawore. The Texans need pass rush help. They need defensive line help. This is an elite athlete – he would be the pick for me.
*I’m a big Michael Mayer fan. He would thrive in Green Bay, even though I’m well aware that they don’t take play-makers in Round 1.
*CJ Stroud ultimately lands with the Patriots as a value that is just too good to give up for a team that certainly seems to be thinking about an upgrade at the position.
*Maybe I can call this the bat shit crazy mock strictly for what I did with Detroit alone. The Lions need some more play-makers on offense, but with two first round picks, it makes it a little less risky to go out on a limb and take Kincaid hoping he can turn into the next Kelce-esque receiving tight end.
*I can’t exactly explain it, but Steve Avila just feels like a Seahawk to me. They have their bookend tackles for the next decade in Charles Cross and Abe Lucas. But, I’m going to keep building that unit out with Avila, who can play guard or center and thumps like a tree falling in the woods.
*If I’m Dallas, I’m in love with Forbes. He played a lot of off coverage at Mississippi State, and he’s a ballhawk. Seems like the type of guy that would be perfect for my system if I were running the show.
*So, I don’t like Lukas Van Ness…like…at all. But, that’s just for what he is. I acknowledge that what he could be is pretty sick. Like Kancey, it all depends about his situation. If I’m Buffalo, and he’s there, I’m doing cartwheels. The defensive front could use some more firepower, but it’s good enough right now to allow a guy like Van Ness to develop. Get him with our coaches and maybe he can be the next honorary Watt brother.
*O’Cyrus Torrence is a good example of the gray area in draft prep. I would throw myself off the nearest roof if the Titans picked him tonight. I think he would be a downright liability in a system that throws the ball often, and my hunch is that’s what the Titans are trying to evolve into. He’s a throwback offensive lineman that you just put out there to move dudes and not get moved. But, there isn’t a lot of twitch or wiggle to his game. It sounds like I’m super down on Torrence, but the reality is that I like him an awful lot for teams like New Orleans, Baltimore, and Philadelphia because of his raw power and ability to knock a dude out. That’s where he highlights the importance of context – it all depends on fit. That’s why I can say “off myself” on one end of the spectrum and “10-year starter” on the other side of it. “off myself” if I’m a Bengals or Chiefs fan and my team drafts him. “10-year starter” if he ends up in New Orleans.
*Like I said, if you have any questions about a pick just hit me up in the comments and we’ll chat.
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network, and a Dogs Playing Poker on velvet connoisseur. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD, #BeBetter, and ‘Minds right, asses tight.’ “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, Yankee Candle, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley.
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