Let’s face it – every day we are routinely bombarded with questions. When you’re an emerging media company in Nashville, people just want to know what your opinions are on everything. It’s only natural. And, since our duty is to serve the people, well, we have no choice but to be present. That’s the SoBro Way. Also, aren’t mailbags just a barrel of laughs anyway? Welcome to the newest weekly recurring feature up in this bitch: The SoBros Mailbag. As always, hit us with those mailbag questions @SoBrosNetwork on Twitter, email ’em to me anonymously at thesobrosnetwork@gmail.com. And, holy shit, I need to update this terrible intro paragraph that I’ve been using literally ever since I started writing this column…
Question:
How many racoons can you fit up your into your anus? There is an actual correct answer according to science and math.
— Football & Other F Words (@FWordsPod) June 29, 2023
Answer:
Without looking, I’m going to guess eight.
Well, I just looked it up and I am surprised to see that the answer is only two. Maybe I just have an anus that is roughly four times more stretched out than the average person. That or my estimation skills are just way off…but I’m going to go with the stretched-out anus theory. That’s insane. I wouldn’t want one raccoon in my anus…much less two. Did the scientists actually try this out in order to prove this theory? So many questions.
Question, from nashvilleallmyfavs on Instagram:
“Happy Birthday! How are you celebrating? Going anywhere special?”
Answer:
Thank you – I called up some of my closest friends and we went to one of my favorite places out here east of town, Nectar: Urban Cantina. Those green and red chicken enchiladas always hit, and no one does margaritas like Nectar.
Question, from McCash on Instagram:
“FMK Movie Edition…Marvel, A24, Blumhouse”
Answer:
I’m killing Blumhouse ’cause I ain’t watching all that scary stuff all the time. I’m going to fuck Marvel because while it’s nice to see the stories on the big screen every once in awhile, the movies haven’t been all that great lately AND I’d still have the comics to read. So, I’m marrying A24, baby. They’ve been on a run for so long – banger after banger. I’ll gladly spend the rest of my days watching Good Time, The Disaster Artist, The Green Knight, Spring Breakers, The Lighthouse, and Uncut Gems.
Question, from Kevin on Instagram:
“Crunchy PB or smooth?”
Answer:
I am as crunchy as crunchy can get, my man. Jif. Extra crunchy. All day. Keep the smooth mudbutt stuff for the children.
Keep the questions coming – catch y’all next week!
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network, and a Dogs Playing Poker on velvet connoisseur. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD, #BeBetter, and ‘Minds right, asses tight.’ “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, Yankee Candle, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley.
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