Let’s face it – every day we are routinely bombarded with questions. When you’re an emerging media company in Nashville, people just want to know what your opinions are on everything. It’s only natural. And, since our duty is to serve the people, well, we have no choice but to be present. That’s the SoBro Way. Also, aren’t mailbags just a barrel of laughs anyway? Welcome to the newest weekly recurring feature up in this bitch: The SoBros Mailbag. As always, hit us with those mailbag questions @SoBrosNetwork on Twitter, email ’em to me anonymously at thesobrosnetwork@gmail.com. And, holy shit, I need to update this terrible intro paragraph that I’ve been using literally ever since I started writing this column…
Question:
Did you ever answer my which finger which liquid question
— Football & Other F Words (@FWordsPod) August 17, 2023
Answer:
Holy shit, I totally forgot you asked me a follow-up. I’m going gasoline in the thumb because it’s further away from the rest of the fingers and risks contamination the least. Nyquil in the index finger because it’s the closest remaining liquid to gasoline…just in case. Water in the middle finger. Gin in the ring finger, and Bearded Iris Homestyle in the pinky.
Question:
If you could only eat a burger one way for the rest of your life, how would you do it?
— TreJean Watkins (@TreWatkins099) August 17, 2023
Answer:
This might be somewhat controversial, but I’m going two beef patties, lettuce, fried green tomato, pimento cheese, and remoulade.
Question:
Other than your own. Who is your favorite mom?
— Goody (@real_goody) August 17, 2023
Answer:
100% Marge Simpson.
Question:
If you could be one nut, which nut would you be. But I need a reasoning as to why you shall want to be that specific nut.
— Josip ⚔️ (@josip_salov) August 17, 2023
Answer:
Are we talking testicles? If so, I’d rather be my left nut because I sat on my right nut not too long ago and it still hurts from time to time. I’d rather not hurt. Are we talking like…food nuts? If so, I’m going hazelnut because hazelnuts smell so good and I’d love to smell myself all the time.
Question:
Does the message behind "Mama don't let you babies grow up to be cowboys" still hold the same meaning in the modern Era?
— Lowry (@ImMikeLowry) August 17, 2023
Answer:
I don’t know – my initial reaction was “no” because cowboying today ain’t like cowboying yesterday. But, for the real ones out there, cowboying hasn’t changed. That shit’s hard…the only thing that has changed is that Yellowstone has come out and everyone probably thinks they can be a cowboy now. So, the meaning still rings true…it’s just that we all probably have a different general idea of what a cowboy is now compared to when that song came out.
Question:
For taking Big E away from us, Ridge Holland should be
— Titans Homer (@smorton101368) August 17, 2023
Answer:
I voted ‘banished to Siberia’ on this poll.
Question:
Do you like your hats adjustable or fixed? I can see the one you have on is fixed but I wasn’t sure if it’s a fluke
— Grizz Lord ⚔️ (@GrizzWizz24) August 17, 2023
Answer:
I like fixed if it actually fits my big ass head. If not, I need it adjustable. It’s funny you point that out because the hat in that picture is the same hat I wear in virtually every video I do. That thing fits perfectly, and I rarely go a day without wearing it!
Question:
Would you bet that you could make an NBA 3 pointer (1 try). If you make it you get $1000 plus what the following tattoo would cost. If you miss, you get Chris Gaines debut album tattooed on your whole back.
— Joel (@propjoelsays) August 17, 2023
Answer:
I’m all for the lolz and the memes, but I just don’t think I could go through with that tattoo faced with the reward of just a grand. I can set aside a little bit from each paycheck for the next few and get that. So, we’d have to up the ante big time before I’m going full back tattoo for anything. Also, I absolutely suck at basketball.
Question, from E on Instagram:
If you could design a tarot deck, what would it look like?
Answer:
Now that you mention it, I actually kind of want to design a tarot deck now. It would be lots of cryptids, and lots of beautiful forest scenes as well. Maybe one or two weird ones just to throw some variety in there. Definitely some nudity too. Big fan of liberal nudity.
Keep the questions coming – catch y’all next week!
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network, and a Dogs Playing Poker on velvet connoisseur. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD, #BeBetter, and ‘Minds right, asses tight.’ “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, Yankee Candle, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley.
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