Welcome all degenerate gamblers back into our weekly American football betting column here on the SoBros Network Patreon, Tank the 401k. Call your bookie and empty those retirement accounts (actually, don’t really do that – this is just sarcasm. Our lawyers say we shouldn’t claim to be experts on anything because we’re not)! Each week, the SoBros team up to offer their five locks of the week – obviously, we’re not professionals here so take this advice with a grain of salt and don’t sue us if you piss all of your money away. That’s not our fault. Okay, I think we’re all set here – here are this week’s SoBros gambling picks.
Stoney’s Picks
Not too bad to start off the year on a winning note, going 3-2, which really should’ve been 4-1 had Illinois not totally shit the bed against Toledo. But, I digress. A quick word of caution to those of you out there getting ready to place your weekend bets – it feels like there’s no greater period of overreaction than after Week 1. I feel like I’m teetering on it with a couple of my picks this week, but be careful not to take the low-hanging fruit. For example, I’m staying the hell away from that Colorado -2.5 line. Money is POURING in on the Buffs and I can’t help but think in the back of my mind, “Vegas knows something and this is how they make their money.” Don’t reach! Don’t overreact to Week 1! With that warning in place, let’s get to my picks for this weekend.
Notre Dame -7.5 @ NC State @ -104 – The style of this Notre Dame offense with Sam Hartman at the helm just feels like a nightmare for the Wolfpack. NC State plays that 3-3-5 defense that sees ’em in a lot of light boxes with linebackers and defensive backs swarming around patrolling the field. Notre Dame has a good running game behind a stout offensive line and a quarterback that makes smart throws. The Irish have looked crisp so far through two games, and I think they’ll go to Raleigh and put one on NC State on Saturday.
Wisconsin -6.5 @ Washington State @ -105 – I like Cam Ward and the Cougars this year, but I think the Badgers are due for a different kind of special season. This new offense is certainly interesting, and while I am a little apprehensive about how it travels, I think Braelon Allen will have another big game on the road as this offense continues to jell. If it gets up to -7, I’m bailing. But, there’s value in that -6.5 number.
Texas A&M -4.5 @ Miami @ -105 – I’m just still not buying the Hurricanes. I’m not there with Miami. Last week’s game was a tune-up for the Aggies, and while it would be foolish to think they’ve sorted out their offensive woes in one week, they did look pretty damn clean. Conner Weigman looked pretty damn efficient, and I think that travels well, especially to a team that kind of struggled to pull away from Miami (OH) a week ago. This one feels like it could be the overreaction pick, but looking at the Xs, Os, Jimmys, and Joes….I like A&M here.
Oregon -6.5 @ Texas Tech @ -112 – Okay, maybe this is the overreaction this week. I thought Texas Tech was going to be pretty decent this year. So, if you’re betting the Red Raiders in this spot, it’s because you think you have a “gotcha” on the sports books – that being that the Texas Tech team we saw last week against Wyoming is NOT the Texas Tech we see this week. But, I don’t know…Oregon feels built to punish a program on its heels, and like the Badgers-Cougs game, that -6.5 number is key. I might think twice at -7, but I like that -6.5 (is this how Vegas gets all our money?).
Falcons -3.5 vs. Panthers @ -110 – Honestly, I hate betting Week 1 NFL. There’s so much parity in the league that I don’t feel you really get it sorted out and find a groove until October, much less the opening week. But, I like the Falcons in the NFC South this year, and the Panthers are just down bad right now…starting a rookie in Bryce Young behind a leaky offensive line without his two veteran wide receivers? Yikes. Big yikes. On the flip side, start Jonathan Mingo if you got him on your fantasy team!
Parlay all five at +2602!
McCash’s Picks
I’m going to pretend it’s week one again after the beat down I took in the season opener. Going 1-4 to start the season is not how I expected things to go. Thanks to the Green Wave of Tulane for saving me from a big fat 0-5. I can always count on an AAC team to pick me up when I’m down. Here’s my picks for this week with absolutely no rhyme or reason…
- Florida St. -31.5
- Ole Miss/Tulane over 67
- Jacksonville -5
- Philadelphia -4
- New Orleans -3
SEASON STATS
- McCash last week: (1-4)
- McCash’s 2023 W-L: (1-4) – 20%
- Stoney last week: (3-2)
- Stoney’s 2023 W-L: (3-2) – 60%
- Stoney’s money spent 2023: $5.00
- Stoney’s money earned 2023: $5.81
- Stoney’s profit/loss: +$0.81
- SoBros last week: (4-6) – 40%
- SoBros 2023 W-L: (4-6) – 40%
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network, and a Dogs Playing Poker on velvet connoisseur. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD, #BeBetter, and ‘Minds right, asses tight.’ “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, Yankee Candle, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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