Let’s face it – every day we are routinely bombarded with questions. When you’re an emerging media company in Nashville, people just want to know what your opinions are on everything. It’s only natural. And, since our duty is to serve the people, well, we have no choice but to be present. That’s the SoBro Way. Also, aren’t mailbags just a barrel of laughs anyway? Welcome to the newest weekly recurring feature up in this bitch: The SoBros Mailbag. As always, hit us with those mailbag questions @SoBrosNetwork on Twitter, email ’em to me anonymously at thesobrosnetwork@gmail.com. And, holy shit, I need to update this terrible intro paragraph that I’ve been using literally ever since I started writing this column…
Question:
Would you take a chop from Gunther, the open palm slap from The Big Show, or the Ten Beats of the Bodhran from Sheamus
— Football & Other F Words (@FWordsPod) February 16, 2024
Answer:
You can’t ask me this kind of stuff because I’m not going to have a problem taking any of it. I mean, that would make for some pretty good content, no? I’m always going to do it for the content. But, as far as what I think hurts the least, I don’t know man. I’ve seen Sheamus’ Ten Beats of the Bodhran wear down some tough ass dudes by the time he gets to the 10 mark. Gunther puts his whole existence into his chops, and Big Show’s hands are the size of frying pans. I think ultimately Gunther’s malicious intent makes me land on Big Show’s slap hurting the least.
Question:
How did you get *so* jacked?
— Armadillo Dave: SAW DC (@S_ATL_Wrestling) February 15, 2024
Answer:
First of all, thank you Dave. You have made my day. To answer your question, this body is built by eating just good enough to keep from becoming morbidly obese and working out just enough to keep my heart from exploding (hopefully).
Question:
Who is the most obscure OL prospect that you like that no one is talking about?
— Goody (@real_goody) February 15, 2024
Answer:
I can’t say Travis Glover anymore because he showed up at the Senior Bowl and now James Foster and I have talked about him for 10 minutes on The Unofficial Titans Podcast. I don’t think he’s obscure anymore, so I’m going to go with Louisville IOL Bryan Hudson. Dude plays hard.
Question:
You reach a fork in the road with a guard. A sign explains that in one direction is Heaven and the other is Hell. The guards will either always lie or tell the truth, you don’t know which one this is. You can ask one question, what is it?
— The General (@mac9nj) February 16, 2024
Answer:
“Which is way is heaven?” Thankfully, I have honed my skills of perception and detection for 37 years now. I could simply tell if the guard was lying.
Question:
Stoney, does the tie go to the runner when asking a head coach and OC questions? If so, PK definitely was into the question before being cutoff
— Wesley Snipes (@MrLez_Said_What) February 15, 2024
Answer:
Yeah, absolutely. From hearing the clip, don’t think that was PK’s fault at all.
Question:
What do you think is the most overrated holiday?
— McCash (@MC_Cash75) February 16, 2024
Answer:
I’d say Valentine’s Day, but my wife and I usually eat a pretty good meal on Valentine’s Day, so I actually secretly kind of like it. I just hate that it’s a device of capitalism to sell cards and chocolates. No, my “real” answer here is Easter. I may come under fire for this one, but I just hate the pastel color scheme. Finding eggs is weird. I’m out on Easter – y’all have fun.
Question:
Where did you get the cool shirt?
— Rooster (@Rooster_Chase) February 15, 2024
Answer:
I can’t believe this but you can actually still get this shirt on Amazon.
Question:
What is your favorite hobby outside of football?
— Grizzler (@GrizzWizz24) February 15, 2024
Answer:
That’s tough, Grizzler. Most of my favorite things to do outside of football, I’ve found a way to turn into a product on SoBros Network. Like, I love writing poetry and short stories, but I craft those and sell ’em, so is it really a hobby? I have a hyperactive mind and I stay busy, so I like to do things that help me slow down a bit – find a good recipe and take my time cooking it, find a good book, and just sit in silence reading it, I also like to paint and watch movies. I guess in a word, I’d say “art” is my hobby.
Question:
How many G&Ts would it take for you to take a chop from an independent wrestler?
— brett (@thebrettclark) February 15, 2024
Answer:
0. Would do it stone cold sober for the content. I actually tried at a couple of SCIs to get someone to do it, but could never get the stars to align. I always felt weird about that too…here’s me asking an independent wrestler who takes their craft seriously to chop me in the chest for a stupid Tik Tok? Yeah, I don’t know. But, I would honestly do it for nothing more than the video.
Question:
How many strokes does it take?
— Titan Travis (@Titantravis08) February 16, 2024
Answer:
Hang on, let me count real quick.
Question:
Have you ever thought of having a weekly “Double Cheeked Up on a Thursday Afternoon, Hella Ass” award winner instead of a mailbag? Or as a sign-off to the mailbag?
— Chris Alexander (@ChristopherBA1) February 15, 2024
If not, you should look into it.
My vote for this week is Tiger Woods.
Answer:
I love the idea, Chris. Love where your head’s at. “TAHA Thursday,” if you will (Thursday Afternoon Hella Ass). I might make that happen regardless, but I can never stop writing this mailbag. Sometimes, I think it’s the only thing I do outside of football that people genuinely enjoy.
Question:
Law Abiding Citizen, Inside Man, The Departed… rank then in order
— G$ (@G_Titan) February 16, 2024
Answer:
Oh man, The Departed is a top four movie for me of my lifetime, so it’s easily #1 with a gap of a thousand movies between it and Inside Man at #2. I liked Inside Man quite a bit though. Law Abiding Citizen is #3 for me, but I’ll say it’s a pretty fun movie. I watched it one Friday night after a long hard work week with a couple G&Ts and found it to be adrenaline-pumping mindless entertainment. So, I’m with the audience that gave it a 75% on Rotten Tomatoes and not the critics, who gave it a 26%.
Keep the questions coming – catch y’all next week!
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network, and a Dogs Playing Poker on velvet connoisseur. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD, #BeBetter, and ‘Minds right, asses tight.’ “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, Yankee Candle, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley.
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