Wendy’s Trying Out Surge Pricing Is One Way to Make Sure I Go to Wendy’s a Lot Less

Wendy's trying out surge pricing is one way to make sure I go to Wendy's a lot less.

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The future is now, I suppose. It’s weird – I was just having a good conversation about capitalism with longtime friend of the brand RHog before we recorded this week’s episode of the SoBros Power Hour. It seems like it’s just this hollow, empty ideology…like we’re all just working to line someone else’s pockets. The whole focus of this thing is to gain profit – where’s the meaning in that? Now, lo and behold, this story about Wendy’s starting to charge dynamic surge pricing for their burgers is popping onto my Twitter feed. They can’t even let their cheap ass burgers that barely qualify as food stay cheap. Even Wendy’s is striving for the MORE MORE MORE nature of our society. SMDH.

I feel like a lot of people are going to read this post expecting to be like “hell yeah! Get their asses, Stoney!” But, this isn’t. I was just ranting about capitalism because I can’t help myself. If you complain to me that the cost of a bottle of NyQuil has gone up to $10, I will spend the next five hours slamming capitalism. It’s just in my DNA. Actually, I’m going to take a practical approach here. It’s just not going to work.

Let’s think through this logically – I am most likely to go to Wendy’s during prime meal hours. The surge pricing is going to be up during prime meal hours. I’m going to walk into a Wendy’s. I’m going to see that my double stacks cost $18, and I’m going to walk out of that place. The next time I’m hungry, I’m going to walk in there, and guess what, since I am most likely to be hungry during lunch or dinner hours, it’ll probably be lunch or dinner time. The double stack is going to cost $18. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, well, you better not fool me twice. I’m out of there again. Eventually, I’m just not going to go to Wendy’s anymore because I’m not going to know how much a burger costs. So, this is actually a sure fire way of getting me to go to Wendy’s a whole lot less. Way to go Wendy’s, you dumb bitch. I bet no one in that office even thought of that.

We don’t even need to get into the actual economical impact here. That’s not what SoBros Network is about. I’m just going to rave like a lunatic for a few hundred words and get on out of here, giving you guys your days back in the process. Also, try beating this big brain shit, Wendy’s:

Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network, and a Dogs Playing Poker on velvet connoisseur. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD, #BeBetter, and ‘Minds right, asses tight.’ “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, Yankee Candle, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley

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