The Waffle House is the subject of a hotly contested debate within my household. My wife, who is from the great state of New Jersey, longs for the traditional diner experience, and claims she can’t get that anywhere around. I’ve tried and tried again to introduce her to the glory that is the Waffle House, but she still calls it gross. How insulting! I’ve tried to explain that down here in Tennessee and the south by and large, Waffle House fills the role of the conventional diners that folks who grew up in the big cities of the Northeast frequent. Personally, I prefer the Waffle House to any diner I’ve ever had in New Jersey. I like my butter and grease, and I like it slathered all over my meal. But, to my wife specifically, I’d like to list in writing all of the reasons I love this culinary institution that calls the South home.
1. For one, Waffle House just plain and simply has the best breakfast around for my money. I have nothing but respect for the Cracker Barrel, but Waffle House just hits different. The eggs are light and fluffy, the hash browns are nice and crispy, and the omelettes are a staple of my diet. The food always comes quick, and any time you pull up and see the cook standing outside smoking a cigarette, you know you’re about to have a fire meal. I swear it takes a little bit of that cigarette smoke permeating around the griddle to give Waffle House its magic.
2. The best ability is availability, as they say, and you never have to worry about not satisfying your Waffle House craving because it is open 24/7, baby!
3. No one in a Waffle House is going to judge you for anything. You can show up in sweats and a dingy t-shirt. You don’t even have to have all of your teeth. Eat as much as you want. There is no judging in the Waffle House. You’re liable to sit down next to an old timer sharing war stories. You’re liable to sit down next to a crackhead that smells like tobacco and vinegar. The Waffle House is for folks from all walks of life.
4. While they have simplified the menu recently, there’s still something for everyone – and more often than not, if you ask for something from the old menu, you’re going to get it. The variety on a Waffle House menu is one of its strongest suits.
5. I’ve actually heard that they take pretty good care of their employees from a couple of different sources. You don’t get that too often with corporations these days, so a tip of the cap for that.
6. Sometimes, you can see wildlife there and you don’t have to pay anywhere near what you’d have to pay at a zoo. My wife saw a rat in the kitchen one night! Where else will you get dinner and a show like that?
7. It’s the best place to cap off a wild night out. Back in my partying days, every downtown Nashville night concluded with a big, greasy meal at the Waffle House. Fond memories of epic nights recapped over an omelette and double hash browns, with a cup of coffee to sober up.
8. Waffle House has the best disaster preparation plan in the country. That’s right – FEMA even consults with the Waffle House when faced with torrential storms and potential disasters.
What is not to love about this place!?!? It is an institution in the south, and I respect it as such. Great days start at Waffle House. Unforgettable nights end at Waffle House.
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network, and a Dogs Playing Poker on velvet connoisseur. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD, #BeBetter, and ‘Minds right, asses tight.’ “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, Yankee Candle, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley.
SoBros Network and Stacking The Inbox have teamed up for the greatest premium content collaboration in the history of Nashville. Get all of the Tennessee Titans and NFL Draft coverage you need on top of premium SoBros Network content such as The Movie Review Rewind Podcast, Sports Punch, and much more! Only $5/month gets you instant access to an exhaustive content library of articles, podcasts, and videos created exclusively for our subscribers! Sign up on Substack today!
