I don’t care that we still have all of training camp and the preseason to go. I don’t care that literally any major injury could completely derail the trajectory of a team. None of this prognostication even matters anyway, so why not go ahead and cross it off my list for 2024? Gah, I’m glad I don’t sound jaded at all by the prospects of making a season prediction post every summer! You guys might wrongly get the impression that I don’t care for this aspect of sports writing! On the contrary, I think it’s one of those things that are really fun for you to do, but no one gives a shit about reading other prediction pieces. Maybe that’s just me.
Nonetheless, I’m back for another season. They ain’t got rid of me yet! As for my process at arriving at these conclusions, well…I simply go through the entirety of the NFL schedule and I predict the result of each and every game as we sit here at the end of July. That simple. So, let’s get to it. What follows is my record prediction for each NFL team, the results of the upcoming playoffs, and my picks for this year’s slate of awards. And, yes, before you say anything, I will be writing an accountability post to revisit this one at season’s end. LFG!
AFC East
- New York Jets (11-6)*
- Miami Dolphins (10-7)*
- Buffalo Bills (8-9)
- New England Patriots (5-12)
AFC North
- Cleveland Browns (13-4)*
- Pittsburgh Steelers (10-7)*
- Cincinnati Bengals (9-8)*
- Baltimore Ravens (8-9)
AFC South
- Houston Texans (10-7)*
- Tennessee Titans (9-8)
- Indianapolis Colts (7-10)
- Jacksonville Jaguars (6-11)
AFC West
- Kansas City Chiefs (13-4)*
- Las Vegas Raiders (7-10)
- Los Angeles Chargers (7-10)
- Denver Broncos (3-14)
NFC East
- Philadelphia Eagles (9-8)*
- New York Giants (8-9)
- Dallas Cowboys (8-9)
- Washington Commanders (6-11)
NFC North
- Green Bay Packers (11-6)*
- Detroit Lions (10-7)*
- Chicago Bears (9-8)*
- Minnesota Vikings (7-10)
NFC South
- Atlanta Falcons (10-7)*
- Tampa Bay Buccaneers (7-10)
- Carolina Panthers (7-10)
- New Orleans Saints (7-10)
NFC West
- San Francisco 49ers (13-4)*
- Los Angeles Rams (9-8)*
- Arizona Cardinals (8-9)
- Seattle Seahawks (7-10)
Wildcard Round
- (2) Chiefs def. (7) Bengals
- (2) Packers def. (7) Bears
- (3) Jets def. (6) Steelers
- (6) Rams def. (3) Falcons
- (5) Dolphins def. (4) Texans
- (5) Lions def. (4) Eagles
Divisional Round
- (1) Browns def. (5) Dolphins
- (2) Chiefs def. (3) Jets
- (1) 49ers def. (6) Rams
- (2) Packers def. (5) Lions
Championships
- AFC Championship: (2) Chiefs def. (1) Browns
- NFC Championship: (1) 49ers def. (2) Packers
- Super Bowl: 49ers def. Chiefs
Awards
- MVP: Jordan Love (I want to put Patrick Mahomes here, but I can’t bring myself to be that vanilla)
- Offensive Player of the Year: Christian McCaffrey
- Defensive Player of the Year: Sauce Gardner
- Coach of the Year: Kyle Shanahan
- Offensive Rookie of the Year: Rome Odunze
- Defensive Rookie of the Year: Dallas Turner
2025 Top 5 Mock Draft
- Denver Broncos: Luther Burden III
- New England Patriots: James Pearce Jr.
- Jacksonville Jaguars: Will Campbell
- Washington Commanders: Will Johnson
- New Orleans Saints: Tetairoa McMillan
Thoughts
If I, as a writer and storyteller, were to craft the story of the 2024 season in a believable yet unpredictable way, the Chiefs would not get the storybook three-peat. Some things are just meant to stand in time, and I think it would ultimately speak to the parity of the NFL for them NOT to get that third straight championship. But, the drama would be incredible – getting all the way to the Super Bowl only to lose. No, it’s much more poetic for the San Francisco 49ers to finish the story and go get Kyle Shanahan his ring. Regardless, I do think we’re due for a Super Bowl rematch. These are the two best programs in the game, and I don’t see either passing the torch just yet.
I don’t see the Lions having the fall-off that others do. I get the hangover concerns, but this team is well-built from the trenches out and reloaded in the draft. I do think the Packers take the next step under Matt LaFleur with a blossoming quarterback and a bright young receiving corps that will lead to a prolific season. The Jets have a loaded roster – if Aaron Rodgers stays healthy, they’ll be a contender. It wasn’t too long ago that I wrote about selling the Ravens right now, but I do see both northern divisions as brutal slugfests. I’m high on the Browns because I’m high on Kevin Stefanski and the unit he’s put together in Cleveland. While my surprise playoff teams this year are the Steelers and Bears, I put the Titans, Raiders, Commanders, Cardinals, and Panthers in the “surprise feisty” category. Let’s see how this all shakes down – catch up with y’all in February!
This article is brought to you by Memo’s Mexican Kitchen in Mount Juliet, Tennessee! Memo’s offers a fresh, modern take on the Mexican restaurant just a mile north of I-40 off of the Mount Juliet exit. For my money, they cook up the best quesabirria in town! Check out the full menu on their website and let ’em know SoBros Network sent you.
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network, and a Dogs Playing Poker on velvet connoisseur. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD, #BeBetter, and ‘Minds right, asses tight.’ “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, Yankee Candle, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley.
SoBros Network and Stacking The Inbox have teamed up for the greatest premium content collaboration in the history of Nashville. Get all of the Tennessee Titans and NFL Draft coverage you need on top of premium SoBros Network content such as The Movie Review Rewind Podcast, Sports Punch, and much more! Only $5/month gets you instant access to an exhaustive content library of articles, podcasts, and videos created exclusively for our subscribers! Sign up on Substack today!
