The SoBros Mailbag 298: Umbrellas in Drinks, Olympics, and Wipeout

Gather 'round. This week's SoBros Mailbag is here.

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Let’s face it – every day we are routinely bombarded with questions. When you’re an emerging media company in Nashville, people just want to know what your opinions are on everything. It’s only natural. And, since our duty is to serve the people, well, we have no choice but to be present. That’s the SoBro Way. Also, aren’t mailbags just a barrel of laughs anyway? Welcome to the newest weekly recurring feature up in this bitch: The SoBros Mailbag. As always, hit us with those mailbag questions @SoBrosNetwork on Twitter, email ’em to me anonymously at thesobrosnetwork@gmail.com. And, holy shit, I need to update this terrible intro paragraph that I’ve been using literally ever since I started writing this column…

This edition of the SoBros Mailbag is brought to you by Memo’s Mexican Kitchen in Mount Juliet, Tennessee! Memo’s offers a fresh, modern take on the Mexican restaurant just a mile north of I-40 off of the Mount Juliet exit. For my money, they cook up the best quesabirria in town! Check out the full menu on their website and let ’em know SoBros Network sent you.

Question:

Answer:

Ed, this might be a controversial answer, but I actually do think the little decorative umbrellas are necessary in certain situations. If I’m on the beach, I need an umbrella in my drink. Otherwise, it’s not effective. I can’t explain the science behind it, but any cocktail without that little umbrella just doesn’t set the vibes the same.

Question, from Owen on Instagram:

What would be an Olympic event that you could medal in?

Answer:

Man, nothing even remotely athletic anymore. Maybe 20 years ago, but not now. I’d say I might be able to medal in ‘who can put the most food in their mouth and eat it in one bite?

Question:

On a scale of 1-10 – 1 being ‘no fuckin chance,’ 10 being ‘i got that easy,’ – what chance do you give yourself at completing a round of Wipeout?

Answer:

At 38 years old with two bad knees that crack like I’m stepping on a bag of chips when I get out of bed every morning, I’m giving myself a 1. But, there is a timeline on which I win the whole damn thing at 20 years old. I firmly believe that. Hell, maybe if you give me six weeks to train, I could get there. In that case, maybe I should give myself a 5. The biggest thing for me is the loss of balance that I’ve developed from years of working desk jobs and not working out six hours a day like I was in college. We used to talk about doing some sort of SoBros Wipeout if we could ever piece something together. Maybe I should give it another shot.

Keep the questions coming – catch y’all next week!

Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network, and a Dogs Playing Poker on velvet connoisseur. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD, #BeBetter, and ‘Minds right, asses tight.’ “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, Yankee Candle, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley.

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