Welcome all degenerate gamblers back into our weekly American football betting column here on the SoBros Network Patreon, Tank the 401k. Call your bookie and empty those retirement accounts (actually, don’t really do that – this is just sarcasm. Our lawyers say we shouldn’t claim to be experts on anything because we’re not)! Each week, the SoBros team up to offer their five locks of the week – obviously, we’re not professionals here so take this advice with a grain of salt and don’t sue us if you piss all of your money away. That’s not our fault. Okay, I think we’re all set here – here are this week’s SoBros gambling picks.
Stoney’s Picks
I should’ve gotten in on the action last week, but I just didn’t have my picks ready by our usual Thursday deadline and I didn’t want to force them. If you start rushing and forcing stuff, that’s when mistakes happen! But, by the time the weekend was over, I was 4-2 on my betslip and that would’ve been super nice to balance out McCash’s 1-3. Nonetheless, we have a hole to dig ourselves out of. It wouldn’t be Tank the 401k otherwise! It feels so damn good to be back for another year – LFG!
- Clemson-Georgia, UNDER 48.5 – Remember that season opener a few years ago when only one offensive touchdown was scored? Yeah, I don’t think it’s necessarily going to be THAT bad, but I think this will be another slugfest. I think Clemson is a little underrated in both trenches.
- Penn State -8.5 – Morgantown is a damn tough place to play, and I think there will be a lot of best placed on the Mountaineers, but I see this game as one in which the talent will start pulling away in the 4th quarter. That edge goes to Penn State.
- Miami -2.5 – I know folks will be paranoid about Miami in a big game, but remember, it’s not usually until the season goes haywire that the ‘Canes phenomenally collapse. We’re not there yet. Get ready for the Cam Ward show.
- UNLV +2.5 – Love the squad Barry Odom put together last year. Casual bettors may look at this as easy money for the home team, but Houston’s going to take some time to rebuild under Willie Fritz. UNLV takes this one.
- Texas A&M -2.5 – Mike Elko’s defense will frustrate Riley Leonard and company at home.
McCash’s Picks
- Minnesota +1.5- Drake Maye is gone and Max Johnson is now under center for the North Carolina Tar Heels who will be starring across the line at a deep and experienced front line for the Gophers. Minnesota was able to get to the quarterback at a good rate last year and return starting DE’s Jah Joyner and Danny Striggow who should be to apply pressure to the new signal caller. The Gophers were beat handily by the Tar Heels last year and will be looking for revenge.
- Penn State -8.5 The Nittany Lions will be looking to make an early season statement against West Virginia. Every year it seems James Franklin and Penn St. get off to a hot start and start having aspirations of championships before they stub their toe in the middle of the season. Well, this isn’t week 7 and Penn St. is going to throw the ball up and down the field and make easy work of the Mountaineers.
- Miami -2.5 There aren’t many glaring flaws on the Hurricanes roster going into the season. Cam Ward and Damien Martinez are in South Beach now and will be the two biggest additions that help Miami secure an ACC Championship and one of the four byes in the playoffs. Florida under Billy Napier has greatly underachieved and the Gators may have the most daunting schedule in college football history and the long road begins against their in-state rival. Both teams have strong offenses so it will come down to the experienced Hurricanes defense to get Miami to the winners circle.
- Boise St. -13 The Broncos are in a place this year as a few other teams are that have legitimate shots at making the playoffs as the Group of 5 representative. Boise St and the other true contenders need to win and win big every week especially against lesser opponents. Look for Coach Danielson to stomp on the gas and not let up.
- Alabama -9.5 The GOAT retired and the ‘guy who replaced the guy’ is making his debut this week. There is no doubt that Alabama will take a step back this year but they will still be in the playoff conversation come year end. New head coach Kalen DeBoer will be looking to make a Crimson Tide size splash in week one and Western Kentucky is the perfect matchup for him. Jalen Milroe will be throwing the ball up and down the field all day. Bama will get the offense going early and there is nothing the Hilltoppers will be able to do about it.
SEASON STATS
- McCash last week: (1-3)
- McCash’s 2024 W-L: (1-3) – 25%
- Stoney last week: (0-0)
- Stoney’s 2024 W-L: (0-0-0) – 0%
- SoBros last week: (1-3) – 25%
- SoBros 2024 W-L: (1-3) – 25%
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network, and a Dogs Playing Poker on velvet connoisseur. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD, #BeBetter, and ‘Minds right, asses tight.’ “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, Yankee Candle, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley.
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