Welcome all degenerate gamblers back into our weekly American football betting column here on the SoBros Network, Tank the 401k. Call your bookie and empty those retirement accounts (actually, don’t really do that – this is just sarcasm. Our lawyers say we shouldn’t claim to be experts on anything because we’re not)! Each week, the SoBros team up to offer their five locks of the week – obviously, we’re not professionals here so take this advice with a grain of salt and don’t sue us if you piss all of your money away. That’s not our fault. Okay, I think we’re all set here – here are this week’s SoBros gambling picks.
Stoney’s Picks
Wow. 5-0 one week. 1-4 the next. That’s brutal. Just an absolute horse tranquilizer sized pill to swallow. We’ve killed the momentum. The train is off the rails. I’m in a ditch writing this column from the afterlife. BEETLEJUICE BEETLEJUICE BEETLEJUICE.
- Arizona State -2.5 – UCF has been competitive, but they’re traveling across the country for this date with the Sun Devils. Sam Leavitt and Cam Skattebo are rolling after a big win over Oklahoma State, and I expect more of that this weekend.
- Mizzou +2.5 – The Tigers haven’t exactly been exciting, but home dogs to Oklahoma? I’m not there yet. Their offense is boring as hell but it works, and it should be able to handle this Sooners defense.
- Oregon -24.5 – That’s a big number but this Ducks team is hitting its stride and Maryland has been underwhelming…that may be putting it nicely.
- Bills -3.5 – I won’t be surprised to see the Bills win this one with the run game behind James Cook and the promising rookie Ray Davis.
- Lions -3.5 – The Lions are all systems go right now. Any team that stands in front of them is getting mowed down.
McCash’s Picks
- Vandy ML
- Army -5.5
- LSU +3
- BYU -4
- Memphis -9
SEASON STATS
- McCash last week: (3-2)
- McCash’s 2024 W-L: (26-22) – 54.2%
- Stoney last week: (1-4)
- Stoney’s 2024 W-L: (25-20) – 55.6%
- SoBros last week: (4-6)
- SoBros 2024 W-L: (51-42) – 54.8%
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network, third on Football & Other F Words, co-host of The Hot Read Podcast, analyst for Stacking The Inbox, and a Dogs Playing Poker on velvet connoisseur. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD, #BeBetter, and ‘Minds right, asses tight.’ “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, the NFL Draft, Nashville, Yankee Candle, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley.
Elsewhere on the SoBros Network: Check out Stacking The Inbox for premium coverage of the Tennessee Titans and NFL Draft. We get weird on Phone It In, the history podcast that explores legendary tales, important historical figures, and events.
