Let’s face it – every day we are routinely bombarded with questions. When you’re an emerging media company in Nashville, people just want to know what your opinions are on everything. It’s only natural. And, since our duty is to serve the people, well, we have no choice but to be present. That’s the SoBro Way. Also, aren’t mailbags just a barrel of laughs anyway? Welcome to the newest weekly recurring feature up in this bitch: The SoBros Mailbag. As always, hit us with those mailbag questions @SoBrosNetwork on Twitter, email ’em to me anonymously at thesobrosnetwork@gmail.com. And, holy shit, I need to update this terrible intro paragraph that I’ve been using literally ever since I started writing this column…
Question, from Instagram:
Did you buy your cat a real guitar?
Answer:
Imagine reading this question and having NOT read last week’s SoBros Mailbag. No, I have not bought my cat a real guitar….yet. We should turn this into a bit, though. I’ll parody those super serious “how-to” videos, but it’ll just be me trying to teach my cat how to play a real guitar. Also, I think I’m getting a good idea for a piece of SoBros Short Fiction here – I play this question off as harmless and funny, but then one day, after months of asking me this question over and over, you go all Russell Crowe in Unhinged until I buy my cat a real guitar.
Question:
What’s the drink menu look like at the future Sobros Bar Grill and Dance Emporium?
— Lady May Queen (@brittbutspooky) April 8, 2021
Answer:
For those of you that aren’t in all the business meetings, and haven’t spent time bullshitting with me over beers about the ideal future for SoBros Network, my be-all end-all goal is to open up a SoBros Bar & Grill type of place somewhere around Nashville. If you remember the SoBrosBee’s craze of October 2020, then please know that a bar/podcast studio was only half a joke. So, yes – while I keep joking about this shit, I would absolutely love to open up this place one day.
We talked about the SoBros Bar, Grill, and Dance Emporium on this week’s episode of the SoBros Power Hour, which you can listen to below. We have to have one of the best and most expansive bars in town, and of course, I’m corny as fuck, so every drink is going to be based off of some inside joke that only the staunchest of SoBros supporters will get. Stuff like “the Heggenrita,” the “G&TDK,” the “Suck it, Ms. Cheap,” etc. etc. I could go on and on. We’re going to have all of this fancy stuff, but then we’re going to hire Reno to run the place (he is the official bartender of the SoBros Network, after all), and he’s just not going to want to make any of these drinks. That’s not a knock on Reno – I’ve literally seen him tell someone “no, order something else” before because he didn’t feel like making it. That’s my sense of humor showing, and I’m confident I’m the only person that thinks that’s funny, but fuck it, Brittany – when we’re all billionaires, we can do whatever the fuck we want.
Listen to “Ep. 39: Storm Anxiety, The Exit/In, and Celebrity Bar Owners” on Spreaker.Question:
What animal would you choose to have a zoo experience with?
— brett (@thebrettclark) April 8, 2021
Answer:
I think I could really jive with the chimps in a zoo. Every time I go to one, I always find myself gravitating towards the monkeys as if we’re kindred spirits. Like, I just want to sit with my friends and dick around all day making content and then enjoying the weather when it’s nice. So, if we could arrange some sort of chimpanzee podcast, I’d be 100% in….so long as they don’t rip my eyes out, y’know?
Fun fact: I also love grizzly bears. I’m just in awe of these big giant creatures. Probably my favorite animal if you’d ask me off the top of my head. But, there’s no way I would feel comfortable getting into a confined space with a grizzly.
Question:
Nashville hot spiked seltzer’s?
— sobrostan (@sobrostan) April 9, 2021
Answer:
Stan, did you learn nothing from the Tik Tok leggings? If we can speak it into existence, I will do it for #content. Nashville hot spiked seltzers? Hell yeah – wouldn’t be the worst thing I’ve consumed. I’m all in.
Question:
If you could host any game show, what would it be?
— Patrick Criswell (@PatCrizzy) April 9, 2021
Answer:
Does the game show have to actually exist? I’ll give you an answer either way, Patrick. In my mind, The Price is Right is the single greatest game show of all time. It’s especially lit whenever plinko is involved. I watched that shit every morning every day as a kid when I was home for summer break. It’s a veritable American institution, and I would strongly consider some pretty heinous things to be involved in this show. But, before we take a dark turn here, I’ll give you my other answer: Legends of the Hidden Temple. Let’s bring it back. Run it on SoBros Network. Get rich. That simple.
Keep the questions coming – catch y’all next week!
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network, and a Dogs Playing Poker on velvet connoisseur. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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