I have some big news to get to this morning. I can’t believe it. It’s like the WrestleMania of Wilson County. It’s like the Super Bowl of Wilson County. It’s like the Oscars of Wilson County. I managed to get my hands on a copy of the Lebanon Democrat’s ‘Best of Wilson County’ 2023 edition. I actually don’t remember if that’s the legitimate name of the awards or not, and I’ve already tossed it out after snapping the photo for this article because I’m a real journalist. Anyway, my big takeaway from this year’s Wilson County Championships per the Lebanon Democrat is that Shoney’s is back on top after taking home the hardware in the Best Buffet category. You can see the results for yourself.
I don’t care what anyone says. I still love Shoney’s, and I am THRILLED to see folks are still putting some respect on the good name of that Shoney’s buffet. It doesn’t happen in my household because my wife hates buffets. Personally, I can’t imagine going through life without experiencing the delights that are Shoney’s and Golden Corral. But, it’s not my place to judge.
I don’t know if this honor is for the breakfast buffet in particular or what, but that breakfast buffet goes harder than any other breakfast buffet in the game. There’s something about that rice they make with the peppers and sausage crumbles that feels fulfilling at a visceral level. It’s orgasmic. I’m also a big fan of their cheese sauce (not sure if it’s actually cheese or not). I used to slather my eggs up with that stuff and then top it with their mushrooms. You want to talk about a breakfast you can’t get anywhere else?!?! Try a pound of bacon and sausage, some rice, and eggs topped with cheese and mushrooms. Where else can you get that? Nowhere but Shoney’s. I don’t think I’ve ever been prouder to be a citizen of Wilson County. This may be the feel good story of the summer.
I’m happy to throw an honorable mention to Frankie’s Cafe. That place rules as well. I’m incredibly intrigued by Mr. Pancho’s Mexican Restaurant. Is that a buffet of Mexican food? Am I understanding that correctly? If so, that sounds right up my alley. I’m tightening up my diaper before heading to that one!
It’s a happy day for Shoney’s, fans of Shoney’s, and really all citizens of Wilson County. I’m glad to see that despite the rapid growth in this region and all the transplants moving in, we haven’t lost sight of what’s really important…what Wilson County is all about…and that’s the Shoney’s breakfast buffet.
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network, and a Dogs Playing Poker on velvet connoisseur. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD, #BeBetter, and ‘Minds right, asses tight.’ “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, Yankee Candle, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley.
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