Good day to you all, cultured SoBros Substack subscribers. Welcome to the SoBros Book Club, on which I will share my thoughts on the compilation of the written word, otherwise known as “books.” Today, we’re discussing The Downhill Lie by Carl Hiaasen.
I won’t pretend to be the biggest golf guy in the world. As a matter of fact, I hate it. I suck at it, and folks, if you didn’t already know this, there’s no point in doing things you’re not good at. Trust me – I have a psychology degree from the Harvard of the South, MTSU. The last time I picked up a golf club and attempted to learn to play was 2005.
It was summer break. The resident film critic of SoBros Network, Brandon Vick, had some family with a timeshare down in Florida, so we managed to cop a free vacation. Part of the setup was a golf course in the neighborhood. Brandon’s a player. His dad’s a player. Our buddy Brett, who was also with us, is a player. Me? I had never played a lick in my life. I love putt-putt…but the real thing humbled me. We were supposed to go out and play one day while we were down there. To get me acclimated to the game, we started off at the driving range. I couldn’t control the ball at all – at one point, I hit one clean over the pond and into the side of the clubhouse. I politely walked away, put my club down, and from that moment on, I swore off golf.
Oh, don’t get me wrong – we still played the round. But, I drove the golf cart. I admired the scenery. I didn’t hit a single ball despite the crew trying to get me to do it. To this day, my father-in-law, who is a big time golfer, will ask me to play and I refuse. I’ve been informed by my wife that this is highly offensive to him, but I’ve explained repeatedly that I suck and I have no intention of doing something I suck at. I think my arms are too short and my beer gut too prominent for a decent golf swing.
All of this is to say that I suck at golf and have absolutely no respect for the game besides a deep appreciation of the outdoors. But, I do like me some Carl Hiaasen. His unhinged sense of humor and winding plots make for quite the entertaining read. My father-in-law also happens to be a Hiaasen fan, and he came across this piece of nonfiction from his catalog. He lent me his copy when we went up to New Jersey for a wedding in May. I’m still not sure if he’s trying to mentally break me down and have my brain build positive associations with golf in the hopes I’ll play with him one day, but seeing as how I’m a fan of Hiaasen, I gave it a shot anyway.
Ever wonder how to retrieve a sunken golf cart from a snake-infested lake? Or which club in your bag is best suited for combat against a horde of rats? If these and other sporting questions are gnawing at you, The Downhill Lie, Carl Hiaasen’s hilarious confessional about returning to the fairways after a thirty-two-year absence, is definitely the book for you.
It’s a fantastic book that expends probably 90% of its energy with Hiaasen’s humor, self-deprecating and biting. But, when that final 10% lands, it lands somewhere beautiful and poetic. The Downhill Lie is written journal-style, covering Hiaasen’s return to the sport after putting up his clubs 32 years prior. In that, it makes the tale digestible and sharp. Hiaasen’s humor stands out with every shanked shot. We read frustration after frustration only for Hiaasen to get to a place where he truly sees what the game can mean to the people who play it. It’s a story about perseverance, self-awareness, family, and of course, the love of the game.
Hiaasen has done what all of the greats are capable of doing – he’s told something in such a fashion as to make it irresistible to even the biggest hater, such as myself. I’m not a golf guy, but this book was funny, brutally honest, and it ended up being heartwarming enough for me to feel the slightest urge to give this sport a shot one day. That will die as soon as I swing a club, but the fact that it got me there says something. You don’t have to be a golf guy to appreciate this comeback story.
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network, second on Football & Other F Words, analyst for Stacking The Inbox, and a Dogs Playing Poker on velvet connoisseur. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD, #BeBetter, and ‘Minds right, asses tight.’ “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, the NFL Draft, Nashville, Yankee Candle, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley.
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