Hope you all had a solid Memorial Day – it’s two days late, but when have we ever been professional on this site? Anyway, back to work!
We endured a lot of filler in this episode, but anything short of the Hodor death scene was going to feel a bit slower. Let’s hit the high marks:
1. MY GOD THAT’S DROGON’S MUSIC! DROGON IS BACK! Just when Dany could literally not become more of a badass, “The Alpha Dragon” Drogon Targaryen shows up at her side. Actually, under her, but you know what I mean.
Anyway, Dany now has an army of Dothraki, is going to end up with control of all of Slaver’s Bay, has a fleet of ships en route (that she doesn’t even know about), and at least has Drogon back. At this point, if you don’t realize she is about to unleash hell on King’s Landing, you’re a fool of a took.
The big takeaway for me? We’re getting pretty close to the end game in this story.
2. Uncle Benjen is a bad, bad man…/white walker. I don’t think I’ve talked about anything other than the impending arrival of Coldhands for the past week. Maybe Benjen isn’t technically Coldhands (and/or vice-versa), but he’s pretty obviously going to be filling that role in the show.
Ultimately, he’s going to help Bran and Meera get back to the realm of men. That dilemma I wrote about last week? Where Bran passes through The Wall, nullifying its magic, and allowing the Night’s King to bring it down?
Uncle Benjen sounds alarmingly calm about all that – like, “Yeah – he’s going to destroy most of the world, but guess what, buddy! You’ll be there!”
3. Arya Stark is back. A girl is someone after all. Arya is back in the game after realizing that the Faceless Men are basically a league of assassins who kill for no other reason than the price of the highest bidder. I really hope we get to see that bitch with the stick get beat out of the building.
Something tells me these guys won’t go quietly into the night, but I hope we get to see Arya cross off a few names on her list before then.
4. The High Sparrow has defeated the Lannisters and Tyrells. Like Mace’s out-of-shape ass was going to do anything. Get off that horse before you hurt yourself, old man. Quit trying to impress people – goofy bastard. I hate Mace. I hate all the old Tyrells. Actually, I respect their tenacity, but good gracious are they some odd looking people or what?
Pretty sure Mace rolled out of my nightmares of what a violent Wonderland would be like. Half the time Olenna is onscreen, I feel like her eye sockets are empty. Really weird, I know.
I just wish they would leave the cunning and handsomeness to the Lannisters.
Then we have Tommen, exemplifying ignorance in youth to a T, and also forming an incredibly stupid alliance that he doesn’t even realize is endangering his entire incestuous and beautiful family.
Can’t blame the kid for wanting to get Margaery back, though.
4. Sam’s dad is an asshole. That’s all – good for Sam. What was he going to do? Stand up and throw bread at his dad? No. He made the right play. I’m sure his dad will shake his fist at the stolen sword, saying nothing more than “that pesky son of mine!”
Nothing more treacherous coming here I’m sure.
I don’t even want to go into the Rickon theories – just check out this grand layout from Sam Haysom over on Mashable.
Character power rankings:
5. Sam – Playing the game right, Sam. You’ve got a lot going for you – smoking hot Wildling lover, going to become a Maester, probably going to really save the day at some point, and now, you’ve got a wicked sword to boot!
4. The High Sparrow/Governor Weatherby Swann – Huge win. He has manipulated King Tommen to the point that he has more power than the Lannisters and Tyrells.
3. Dany – Another solid episode for the Mother of Dragons. Can’t wait to see her demolish everything.
2. Arya Stark – Need I explain this? Arya’s best work is yet to come. I’m looking forward to it.
1. Benjen Stark – Been out in the cold beyond The Wall for seemingly forever, but still there to save the day. Also, has to be the best looking man on the show. If a genie grants me three wishes, one of them is undoubtedly “make me look like Benjen Stark – man or half-white walker creature. Whatever you feel like.”
Stoney Keeley is the editor of the SoBros Network, Tennessee Titans Featured Analyst for Pro Football Spot, and covers the WWE for WrestlingNews.co. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley,@PFSpot, @WrestlingNewsCo
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