So, I know last week I said I was a bad week away from butt-chugging Jack Daniel’s straight from the bottle. And guess what – 0-6. I know I write a lot of hilarious articles and am constantly blurring the lines between being serious and being facetious. That’s part of my mystique, to be honest – totally what I’m going for, but I think I need to be serious for a moment and share a very tender, intimate moment I had with myself after last week.
I cried. I went 0-6 and I cried. I’m 13-25 on the season. I’m a prideful, competitive man, and it pains me to suck at anything as bad as I’m sucking at picking football games this season. In a fit of rage, I nearly shaved my head bald. Thankfully, I calmed down and realized that I didn’t want to wear a weave for the rest of my life. Once you hit 30, your hair never grows back. I think that’s science somewhere.
So, after pulling myself out of a head-shaving, butt-chugging bender, I’ve decided to continue this column…even though every fiber in my being is screaming “give up.”
I can either pull myself out of this hole, or my readers can revel in my misery. Here we go.
Stoney’s Picks
NFL: Philadelphia -2.5 at Washington – I know the Redskins are hot right now, but I’m still on board the Wentz Wagon. This is a good Eagles team that will physically break Kirk Cousins.
NFL: Atlanta +6 at Seattle – I’m ready to buy in on Atlanta. This is a winnable game for the Falcons after going on the road and beating a solid Broncos defense last week. Matt Ryan should be considered the NFL MVP to this point.
NCAAF: Ole Miss -7.5 @ Arkansas – It’s time to say it – the Razorbacks look like a middle-of-the-road team. They haven’t beaten anyone. On the other hand, Ole Miss has looked competitive against Alabama, and should have defeated Florida State. They’re team that’s still playing for a New Year’s Six bowl game. They’ll ram Arkansas this week.
NFL: Houston -3 vs. Indianapolis – Do we now who Houston is now? A team that will play well against bad teams and play poorly against good teams. Indianapolis falls closer to ‘bad’ than ‘good,’ so I’m riding the Texans this week (the team – that wasn’t innuendo).
NCAAF: South Alabama +5 @ Arkansas State – Time for another dip into the Sun Belt! Arkansas State is coming off of a big win over Georgia Southern, but don’t let that fool you. This is a bad football team. Meanwhile, the Jaguars have defeated Mississippi State and a ranked San Diego State squad. They seem to rise up in big games, and fall flat against weaker opponents, which would usually dictate an Arkansas State win here….but, I’m just not buying the Red Wolves just yet.
Last Week: 0-6
On the Season: 13-25 (34.2%)
Stoney Keeley is the editor of the SoBros Network, Tennessee Titans Featured Analyst for Pro Football Spot, Contributor to FanSided’s Bama Hammer, and covers the WWE for WrestlingNews.co. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley, @PFSpot, @WrestlingNewsCo, @Bama_Hammer
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